Things have been busy so, I apologize for the delay. I know lots of you love these stories.
Last Friday night...Yeah, I think we broke the law...Always say we're gonna stop, whoa Friday, or in the alternative: What part of call me was not clear?
I get to my desk at the usual time and deal with the usual bullshit. I got a SCAR 16s here on consignment because a customer of mine bought them from dealers that were less than reputable and lied about the condition of/country of origin of their merchandise. And they swapped sku's and other bullshit gun dealer things.
Trying to be a nice guy, I can charge the guy to box and ship everything back or roll them at top dollar and give him a big stack of blue stripe benjamins. I tell him I'll try and sell them for him and take my cut off the top so we're both making money. He thinks this is a great idea and manages to line up a buyer on his own. I just need to do the 4473 and cut him a check. No big deal, I don't have a problem doing a little extra work for him versus the standard dealer to customer transfer. The guy he sold it to is a semi regular customer of mine and he comes in, bangs out the 4473 and it's about a 90 minute wait on transaction time.
No big deal. Instead of packing up for the gun show, I'm selling other peoples guns. I'll pack up for the gun show tonight and get everything ready when I get home. I need to be up super early and on the road.
I get everything squared off, customer comes in to get his money and drops off
ANOTHER SCAR 16s to sell because the dealer pulled a con job. Okay, I can haul it to the show in the AM. I have a SCAR 16s in FDE from him. I have a 5.7 in FDE on the arm from a buddy of mine and a 509 FDE. I'll make a package deal, FDE FN Friday all FN time. Things are looking up!
I clear off all the 4473's for the week and do an audit and I'm down about 75% inventory wise from last year. Things are tight but stuff is trickling in in drips and drabs. Hit the chickfila on my way home for a sandwich and milkshake that brings all the boys to the yard. I'm done eating and getting ready to leave when I get the call.
ring ring FC: go for FC
1: Mr Hayden sir, can I ask a favor of you?
FC: What up?
1: Got a guy who wants my scar 16 lined up but he has to pay on a credit card. Can you run it for me? You can take a card and cut me a check?
(It's 7PM on a friday night. I still need to pack for the show. By the time I get back it will be 9PM and I still need to shower and get a decent nights sleep. I'm a glutton for punishment)
FC: If you want to get it done tonight, have the guy call me. I'm eating dinner now and I'll head back if he calls me.
1: roger that, I'll pass along your info right now and let him know.
I do a few more emails from the laptop and say hi to the chickfila owner who was friends with my dad and buys guns from me. We chat for a bit and my phone does not ring. Now, gentle readers - I offered to head back at 730PM on a friday to get something done for someone as a favor to them. That should be worthy of "holy shit you are the man for coming back on your own time!" but this was not the case. No phone call means I didn't head back.
I head home, no phone call. Phone about to die. Plug it in and go into my garage and get all my gun show stuff sorted and loaded and organized. My normal display is 3 tables of merchandise stacked and racked on 2 tables. This show it's 1.5 tables of merchandise stretched out on 2 tables. Not good. My back is killing me. I get some ibuprofen and take a hot shower. Grab my phone off the charger. Bunch of missed calls, one email one VM. I return the VM.
1: Hey you must be having a good dinner at chickfila, we've been waiting here in the parking lot for the last hour!
FC: You have? Well, I didn't get a phone call. I'm home and in pajamas.
1: What? He didn't call you?
FC: Nope
1: HEY! YOU DIDN'T CALL HIM? Oh he says he just figured......
FC: No phone call means no turning around to go back to work. We'll deal with it next week.
1: Okay I'll tell him.
I'm a pretty easy to get along with guy. If you ask me a favor, I'll likely do it if it does not interfere with my life too badly. But if you ask me for a favor and you can't follow simple instructions, well then you're wasting your own time. That's no skin off my hide. Failure to follow simple directions on your part does not warrant my bad back bending over backwards to make it right. I climb into bed, I have to be up at 5AM to tank up at the truck stop, grab breakfast on the run and get to this show on the road.
Saturday, in the park. I think it was the fourth of july. People dancing, people laughing. A man selling ice cream. Singing Italian songs.... Showtime Saturday.
My back is stiffer than I'd like. I get down to the show and get loaded in and everything is set up looking spiffy. Not in my normal spot right by the loading dock, much to my chagrin. There's a line that's 1/4 mile long to get into the building. This shit is looking crazy.
Here's the deal, folks. The 4473 isn't hard. It does require attention to detail. Being in therapy with Dr Kaplan, I've learned a few things.
Old FC: Here's the clipboard, call me when you're done.
New FC: Here's the form, I'm guessing you haven't filled this out before. Start on line 9, read this carefully, 18A and 18B are two separate questions that both require answers, 21 L 2 is tricky, you need to read it ALL THE WAY TO THE END before you answer. Sign on 22, today's date on 23. STOP THERE.
With the new spiel, of the 7 forms I was handed on Saturday before noon - guess how many were filled out correctly? I'll make a break here to talk about the bullshit I had to do.
Show Hustler #1: I had a consignment mossberg built in new haven pre 1968. A guy wants to buy it and he's friends with Ray Dalio. Yes, the Ray Dalio. He tries getting me to knock $100 off but I tell him he's nuts. If he's FRIENDS WITH A BILLIONAIRE and lives in GREENWICH fucking Connecticut, you can pay my very fair asking price of about $350 on it. He relents and I give him a small discount and I give him the clipboard.
Show Hustler #2: I got a guy wanting to trade me a 44 Mag Black Desert Eagle for a Colt 1911 I have on the table. Prices are about the same. I tell him I'm not doing the work of selling two guns for the profit of one gun. He tells me I'm not selling two guns, I'm trading one and selling one. That's selling one gun! I explain two entries in my A/D book means I sell two guns, and it's easier for me to sell a NIB Colt than it is for me to sell a used Desert Eagle. Well the DE isn't used! It's unfired! It's brand new! If I didn't get it from a wholesaler, it's used. He says for me to think about it and he'll be at the show. I tell him I thought about it. He says yeah, ready to do an even trade? I say no, now I want your gun plus $1000. He calls me a clown and walks away.
Show Hustler #3: Over the road truck driver wants the FN 5.7 in FDE I have on consignment. Asks for a truck driver discount. He wants it for $1200. I've got it tagged at $1350. I tell him if he can fill out the form straight, no errors I write it at 1200. If there's an error, I write it for $1350. He says he just bought a brand new freightliner cascadia and money is tight. I tell him well we got a bet or what? He nods, I book the action.
Show Hustler #4: Guy wants my 509C. He wants to trade me for a NIB glock even up. I tell him there's no money to be made and selling a used glock gets me less money. BUT ITS NOT USED! ITS BRAND NEW! We go back and forth 9 times about how new does not mean what he thinks it means. I offer him $350 on his trade as credit knowing that $650 on a used glock in 45ACP is all the money right now. He calls me a cocksucker and walks away.
Okay, so 7 form 4473's with an explanation as to all the problem areas before noon on Saturday.....how many were filled out correctly?
If you answered zero, you are right! That means I won the 4473 bet. The 5.7 goes out at top dollar. Winner winner chicken dinner!
I head home and count my money. I need 9 more shows like this and I might finally be able to retire. On the way home I check web orders. Three guys in arkansas have ordered $900 22LR off my website at $150 a brick. I joke about my stash of 22LR being a brand new F350 platinum but at $150/brick that's rapidly becoming a reality.
Sunday, Bloody Sunday Sunday is day 2 of the show. I stop at a local diner and grab corned beef hash and a short stack of pancakes for breakfast. Want to know how good a diner is? If there's real butter with the pancakes and not that bullshit country crock/margarine spread, you know things will be good.
There's butter. It's good.
A very nice Sig 229 in stainless in 9mm comes by from a guy who did business with me years ago. He traded me a Wilson CQB pistol for a Sig 226 and a Springfield Range Officer even up. I had maybe $1600 into that Wilson, I sold it for $2500 a few months later and tucked the money away. When my brother got married, our fucking gigantic family got together the night before the wedding and had dinner. I told him I'd cover it and he's like "are you sure?" and I said, how bad could it be? Not realizing his wife's family is a bunch of hungry alcoholics from cape cod who have never seen an open bar before and are total gluttons when someone else is buying. As it turns out, $2500 covered about half of the F&B, but he seemed appreciative.
Anyhow.
I sell nothing at the show all day and talk with the other dealers and swap stupid customer stories. I pack and head home and I've sold a good bit of stuff of mine and consignments. As I'm making my way out of the building, the wheel comes off the wagon.
This is not a euphemism.
https://imgur.com/a/KY5vLCl I pay off all my friends for their sales, and in the zelle memo field, I break down the transactions as such:
$69.69 - Anal Hook
$350 - Loch Ness Monster Poster
(whatever the balance was after bullshit, I can't remember) - this is from your real dad
I have lots of fun at this job sometimes.
It's just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. 'Cause that's my fun day. Monday morning I get an email from the fellow who spent his friday night in the parking lot waiting for me. His email address leads me to believe he spent some time at Parris Island or San Diego, because who else uses semper fi in an email address name? He says he can be in after work at 1645 hours sharp and is just down the road. I tell him I'll get everything squared away for him, and I prep the 4473's on a clipboard and get everything set up.
Cleaning up files from the show, closing out 4473's. Down to 249 items in stock. 150 of them are lowers. This is not good. Must strike while irons are hot though. Gotta shear all the sheep while the wool is ready to harvest and prices are high. I have a bunch of personal ammo that will hit the market one POTUS says something stupid. That's not an if, that's a when.
Bunch of phone calls from people seeking 380 and cheap 9mm. I do my best charles bronson impression. "No dice." The emails accusing me of price gouging are fantastic. There's some other idiocy too. I won't post the whole ones but here's a few snippets from the butthurt and the unprepared as well as the idiotic.
I’m just looking for fmj for target practice. Nothing fancy. If you could do them for $400 a case of 1000 I can talk.
FC: I can get you $400/case on 1000 but it'll be foreign made non brass 9mm ammo.
Pretty much what your saying is no matter how much money I try to spend, you’re continuing your get rich quick prices. People like you are direct part of the problem. It’s one thing to make money and it’s another to try to high way rob people. Hope you’re proud of yourself.
FC: I can assure you that this isn't a get rich quick situation. I spent plenty of money investing in half a million rounds of ammo about FOUR years ago during the Trump slump and I'm just getting around to realizing profits now. I am not getting rich, nor am I doing it quickly. I hardly think that any investment that takes 4 years to realize a gain is quick.
(No response back)
Subject: Used Ruger 10/22
Message: I’ll give you 175 for it.
FC: Deal. Can you come by today?
(new message, no subject)
Message: I can come by Tomorrow or Thursday.
(I try calling him. VM box is full)
FC: Great! Lets get it done. Your VM box is full. Tomorrow is better.
(new message, no subject)
Message: I can come tomorrow but I only have 150 I can spend at the moment so I’ll probably wait a few days.
FC: What happened to " I’ll give you 175 for it." a few hours ago?
(new message, no subject)
Message: My bad dude. I have a kid I don’t know what to tell you. And I’m pretty sure I said Wednesday or Thursday. If you really want it gone that bad I don’t see what the big deal is.
FC: I was just expecting you to have $175 ready if you said you wanted to deal......So, will Wednesday or Thursday work this week? Bring me cash and your concealed.
(new message, no subject)
Message: No cwl. But you don’t need one for a private sale. I can have your cash.
FC: No CWL no sale.
(new message, no subject)
Message: Yeah I’ll pass. Good luck. You totally should have mentioned that at the start of negotiations.
FC: What part of my ad that said cash and concealed required was unclear?
Yeah. Fucking mondays.
1630 rolls around and our scar loving jarhead walks in. With his wife. And his children. Not one, not two, not three, but FOUR little munchkins. All without an ipad and disney + streaming to keep them occupied. They're not bad kids, just curious at all the little things I have lying around like lower parts kits, magazines, AAC 51T mounts, stuff like that.
He hands over his ID. I look at the address. It's a city two and a half hours away.
FC: Uh, you're a long way from home.
USMC: Yeah I just moved. I'm putting my new address on this form if that's okay.
FC: You have anything with your new address on it? I can't do anything with ID that's not current.
USMC: It's not expired, it's current.
FC: Where do you live?
USMC: (names address locally)
FC: Then this is no longer current. I need something with your new local address on it.
USMC: Oh then I'll just use the old address on this form then.
FC: That's not acceptable. I need a current government document with your new address.
USMC: Here, I have activation orders and training orders from the army.
FC: That won't work. Government document with your new address.
USMC: Here's my W2 from the DOD.
FC: That's not a government document.
USMC: But the DOD gave it to me! It's FROM the department of defense, which is the government!
(Editors note: Did I mention that I hate mondays?)
sigh FC: I can call ATF and ask......
USMC: Please do!
(I phone the ATF area supervisor on his cellular device)
ATF: Mr Hayden, how can I help you today?
FC: Barry, I got a funny one. Guy wants to use his DOD W2/activation orders to get his gun since that has his current address.
ATF: Why? Is there a reason he's unable to get an updated drivers license?
FC: That's a good question Barry, let me find out.
(FC puts ATF on speakerphone)
FC: Hey private first class, ATF wants to know why you didn't update your license
USMC: Uh because I've been busy
ATF: Sir, that's not an answer. I was in the military too and I had to change ID's just like you. If I can had to do it you have to do it.
(Barry was a very long time ago a RIO on the F4 Phantom)
USMC: But I have activation orders! and training orders! and a W2!
ATF: Get your license changed over or produce another document for the licensee to process your transaction.
FC: Thanks barry!
I hang up and tell him that's the area supervisor and I'm playing this one the way he tells me. He needs to produce a document compliant with ATF regulations for me to release this firearm.
USMC: Oh by the way there's a guy with my same name that robbed a bank in Detroit last year, I always get delayed anyways.
(sigh)
I type his stuff into the computer and I get a thumbs up from the computer instantly much to his amazement. I fire off a quick email to the guy who owns the scar
Subject: No current ID
Message: your jarhead friend who wants the scar does not have current ID
No deal? Or what's the plan?
My reply is interrupted. Their oldest child admires the batman dollar on my safe. The youngest child is incessantly clicking a spare pilot G2 pen I had on my desk.
Mother: If you click that pen ONE MORE TIME, you are WALKING HOME.
(kid puts the pen down)
Me, whispering to the kid: It's not that far.
(kid picks the pen back up)
Mother scowls at both of us.
I giggle.
I get back to email.
FC: Lets put it this way. You're gonna owe me for this one. Big time.
His wife starts pulling out auto registrations, USAA insurance cards, cable bills, etc with their new address - NONE of which are useful because none of them are government issued. She updates his and her drivers licenses online at the state website and gives me a voter registration printout confirming the update, but that's not a workable document since it's an informational update and not an actual registration.
Customer that owns the scar walks in and witnesses the flurry of kids playing with gun stuff and two grown ass adults trying to make it all work.
It's been 45 minutes of this.
The guy finally gives up and goes on the state website and gets a fishing license and emails it to me. Stacks a big stack of SCAR magazines that NOBODY has in stock to the order and I charge it onto his USAA mastercard. Had I returned to work on a Friday after hours to get an ID that wasn't current, I would have been apoplectic. Now, I'm just mildly annoyed. I can assure you that anyone who has walked through the hallowed halls of MCRD Parris Island should know to have their shit together. This just seemed like some hybrid of cluelessness more than it was an issue of stolen valor. Gun and mags go out the door.
My customer sits down and starts laughing. I look at him totally nonplussed.
1: That was easy, right?
(FC looks nonplussed)
1: An hour worth of work, for $50! That's good! you should do a few of those a day!
(FC looks nonplussed)
1: Really?
FC: You owe me.
I cut him his check and I'm done for the night. I head home.
Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too.... Tuesday
Another day, another box of 9mm at $75 each heading out the door.....I'm down to my last 15,000 rds of 9mm. I sold my entire personal stash of Remington UMC at $67 a box. Now that we're into the Federal American Eagle, it's up to $75. People are thanking me for having it available because they've called everywhere.
This morning's "no I don't have it" calls: 380ACP, 30-40 Krag, 6.5 CM, Grendel and Swede, 2.5" .410 slugs, 3 or 3.5" shells and turkey loads.
Now, for the uninitiated: Turkey season is around the corner. ALL the ammo for turkey loads have been purchased by new shooters looking for home defense ammo since last year. Why turkey loads for self defense?
That's all the cabelas had.... Come season, there will be lots of very disappointed hunters who were unprepared. Those with ammo will hunt, those without ammo will hunt for ammo, and they will not be successful given the state of the ammunition markets. There is far more money to be made cranking out buckshot and slugs than there are turkey shells.
Package comes in for transfer. Guy has a NJ license. He's just moved here. Has NOTHING with his new address. This is basically a repeat of Monday's SCAR sale. The guy here is ADAMANT that he's bought a home here and he can purchase a firearm without being a state resident.
He's technically right. HOWEVER this is why dealers hate doing things: The gun and sale have to follow both the laws of the state he's in
AND the state of New jersey. Now I have to run down all the bullshit that is NJ published ordnances to ensure that this gun is Phil Murphy(TM) approved. For the price of a transfer. BUT WAIT THERES MORE!
The gun is for a BUDDY of his he's giving it to him as a gift when he's down here for a fishing trip in a few days.
https://imgur.com/0cqL7vX Read that last line.
Yeah. I tell him that it's unlawful for him to dispose of a firearm to a non resident. He's wondering what the fuck to do. He insists on taking delivery. I tell him I need to run it down with the address and everything since his NJ license isn't technically valid since HE NO LONGER LIVES THERE.
The guy bought a double wide trailer here, the trailer park handles all the water, the power, the etc - he does not have any REAL property here. He's insistent that he has a deed for his house. He's holding a bill of sale for a mobile home.
sigh I tell him we should just get things sent to his friend via an FFL in his state. The guy lines up an FFL and I fedex the gun to the dealer up there. We need ONE UNIFORM SET OF COHESIVE COMMON SENSE GUN LAWS, not one federal set and 50+ subsections on a state level plus NY State HOME RULE BULLSHIT.
I head home early, telemedicine with Dr Kaplan. He's impressed with my progress. I'm not.
There are no songs that have Wednesday that I can think of here Wednesday, Hump Day
I decide to work from home today. I can take all the phone calls and tell people no I don't have anything from home. I decide to do some early spring cleaning. It's a BEA-U-TIFUL day. The sun is out, nice weather means I can work in the garage for once. I start a load of laundry. Everything starts off fine. I'm sorting through old shot show HK posters when I can smell burning. There's no smoke but I do smell burning. Am I having a stroke? I can't figure it out and I get a load of laundry processed through my carbon neutral solar powered clothes drying system. I start another batch of laundry and hear a massive grinding noise when I should hear the washing machine washing. That burning smell? That was the timer burning up. And I have a full tub of underwear that needs to get done since I'm nearly out. Fuck.
My dad's old toolbox is in disarray. Mine isn't. I quickly grab a few tools. A snap on general service kit is totally overkill, but it's super nice to have EVERYTHING in one spot ready to go. My 1/4 drive ratchet takes apart my washing machine panel with ease. I unplug the timer and hit the electronic bay for a replacement. I find one 2 hours away and they say they can ship immediately on my fedex account. I can get it here tomorrow if they fedex ground it on todays truck. Deal, here's my amex. Email me tracking when it's sent.
One problem arisen, one problem in progress of being fixed. Not bad for before noon.
I get a bunch of stuff stacked up and straightened up and I throw a ton of stuff on facebook marketplace. Old Glock signs and point of sale merchandise like hanging ceiling mobiles, glock pencils, FN pads, FN hats, Daniel Defense stickers and patches, HK pistol racks, some old Colt and Beretta Blue boxes, all that stuff.
People message me about the Colt box. WHATS IN THE BOX they ask.
Well it's an empty fucking box. I made that
VERY clear in the description. So what's my witty rejoinder? A youtube link to the scene from Seven with Brad Pitt yelling at Morgan Freeman "WHATS IN THE BOX? WHATS IN THE BOX?!?!!?!"
They are not amused. I think it's brilliant. They ask me what gun is for sale. I tell them it's just an empty box but if they want a gun, here's my info and call me at work during business hours. I'm then told that people selling empty boxes on facebook aren't selling empty boxes, they're selling guns.
This, I did not know.
Armed with this newfound information, I proceed to post more random stuff from my garage for sale in front of a pile of 20,000 rds of 9mm. An old kegerator and some bar equipment my dad had, a Miller Genuine Draft neon sign backdropped with 5 cases of Winchester Q4170 45ACP and 5 cases of CCI Lawman 147gr 9mm. The messages flood in looking to buy my stuff cheap. But I know what I got.
My favorite interaction:
1: hey man, you got anything else for sale?
FC: Tons of stuff for sale!
1: I'm looking for pews.
FC: I got pews, you want to stop by and check out my pews? I got some real nice ones, super nice. Only used on sunday!
1: Yeah man I'm leaving for lunch in 10 min, give me your address
FC: Sure thing! Here's me, be here in 30 minutes!
I continue to clean up my garage and I pull out some of my dad's old auction finds. Under about 200 old polynesian tiki mugs, I dust off some white oak church pews and pull them into the driveway. The guy tells me he wants to see the pews I got, and I point them out to him in the driveway. White oak, great shape - just needs some lemon pledge and they'll be good as new. He calls me a clown, gets in his car and drives off.
What's wrong with these people?
I return to find 254 facebook marketplace messages for people asking me to sell/ship them guns and ammo to all sorts of places and that facebook has suspended my account for violations of their marketplace terms. The offending item? An old Sig Sauer binder that has a P226 exploded diagram on the front. Because firearm parts are not allowed.
I manage to sell on facebook marketplace an old surefire incandescent rifle light, a blue colt mustang box, a few tin winchester ammo signs, some beer neons that belonged to my dad and some soft pistol rugs that I ordered from RSR on clearance. A productive wednesday. My haul nets me after facebook marketplace fees and shipping about $54 on the shipped items and a few hundred bucks in miscellany. I give my business cards to all the folks looking for gun stuff and they seem surprised that I still have ammo and that they've never heard of me. They do all their ammo and gun shopping online and don't do B&M. That's the way things will be in the future.
I head to the tex mex joint for dinner. I chat it up with a very cute blonde that is the manager. She's just moved into a new place after her man chated on her and she ditched that zero. I offer her my stack of bed bath and beyond coupons.
FC: Starting over is expensive. Maybe this will make it a little bit cheaper.
1: Oh my gosh this will save me a bunch of money! Here, your dinner is on me.
FC: It's been a long time since a woman has bought me dinner. Perhaps I should return that favor. Do you like firefighters?
(she cracks a big smile under the mask)
1: I do, but I'm talking to someone right now.
FC: I can see you ditched the zero, but if it does not work out and you want to get yourself a hero - I'm here pretty often. Just ask and I'll take you to dinner at your favorite place.
I manage to get rejected by a woman
at the same time she bought me dinner.
That takes talent. I head home, pop some ibuprofen and head to bed. I check my email in bed. There's a tracking number.
PICKUP OCCOURED AFTER FEDEX CUTOFF FOR TODAY, PACKAGE WILL BE TENDERED THE NEXT BUSINESS DAY You fucking clowns. You had one job. I call fedex and ask them to hold it at the facility 2 hours away. I'll grab it in the AM. They can't even find it. Fuck it. Leave it. I'll deal with it later.
Thursday, I don't care about you Thursday, or FC makes a new friend!
I head into work a bit early today, as I'm driving down my street, I round the corner and see an older fellow wheeling his trash to the curb. This guy had a '99 Ford F250 extended cab 4x4 with the venerable 7.3 navistar in MINT condition for sale. 129,000 miles, parked in a garage 10 months out of the year. He wanted $16k for this truck and I figured he got tired of tire kickers and lowballs and kept it. I messaged him 3 days after the post went up and I never followed up, I knew the house since I've literally been driving past it MY ENTIRE LIFE on the way to elementary, middle, high school, college and now work.
My passenger window rolls down as I stop right next to the mailbox.
FC: You still got your F250?
1: No! That thing sold in one hour! To a dealer!
FC: Son of a bitch! I wanted that truck, I didn't even know you were selling!
1: Dealer came over in one hour, took a look at it, put cash on the hood, slapped a dealer tag on it and drove it out of here!
FC: Damn! I wish you put a sign on it and I would have stopped.
1: I told my wife I didn't want to sell it to a dealer but my garage isn't big enough!
FC: No kidding. Say, you still got your T bird?
1: My thunderbird? How'd you know I have a thunderbird?
FC: I grew up here! When I was in grade school I'd ride by and you were wrenching on it, when I was in high school, I'd see you wrenching on it from the bus and when I was in college I'd see you wrenching on it on my way home from class!
1: I spent 20 years building that car 2 weeks at a time! You wanna see it?
FC: Well, when you put it that way....
I pull off into the grass. He's got a detached 3500 square foot garage with Snap On's Mr Big not 1 but 2 ben pearson four post lifts. He shows me his thunderbird he's been working on for two decades. We get to talking. He's a commercial alaskan fisherman and he spends 10 months of the year in alaska and seattle running boats. Super nice guy. He asks me what I do for work, and I tell him. He tells me all his friends are scrambling for ammo and he didn't think it was that bad. I tell him it's been that way for about a year. He needs 00 buckshot, 8 or 9 pellet. I just got a small delivery. I tell him I can get him some. I give him my card and tell him call me this afternoon and I'll throw a few boxes in my briefcase and I'll deliver them on my way home. I'm asked about my watch, he's apparently a GMT man as well. We both like fords and stainless GMT's. Nice. He tells me the story about how he accidentally welded the band to his boat in the bering sea while doing repairs with a stick welder.
FC: What do you catch?
1: Pollock, cod
FC: long line?
1: No, trawler..... You know your commercial fishing.
FC: I know my customers.
Impressed at my substantial seafood knowledge, he tells me he'll call me after he checks his safe. I head into work and get some more stuff done.
I get a call from a referral. This guy was busted for selling pot and spent 8 months in miltary prison at Leavenworth. He's wondering if he can still own or have a gun with a bad conduct discharge. I'm not sure. I call my retinue and we agree that it's worthy of research and we should do a bar journal article about it. I love it when a plan comes together.
Doctor lady and her husband come in and their attorney has told them that without a trust, their silencer order will need to be approved by the CLEO of the region. This is why people hate lawyers. I get all their stuff drawn up as they requested with two trusts and interlocking responsible parties. Double the prints and plenty of passport photos all around.
Dead Air is behind on pistons and mounts, as usual but I'm assured by the big man in charge that they will be at wholesalers shortly. I'm so scrambled that I forget to charge her for two cans. No big deal, I'll email her and deal with it when I get her the mounts.
I have a facebook marketplace post up for an old Glock brand Pistol case and some glock brand ear pro. Here's the message:
Hi Will it's John from facebook marketplace I was looking at the glock bb gun and head phones will you show me a pic of the actually glock and does it have a clip and a slide,,??¿?? My old one did but I left it at my apartment I was sharing with friends but I miss having it lmk asap please and thanks sincerely Jeff K.
FC: Lets start here. 1. I don't sell Glock BB guns. 2. I don't have head phones. Were you only interested in BB guns?
Ya I was on Facebook marketplace looking for BB c02 pistols
sigh I go truck shopping online. A guy has a 2011 F250 diesel for $24k. Except it's not a 2011. It's a 2001. I don't know what's more absurd, a 2011 at $24k, when average retail is a shade under $20k or a 20 year old truck selling for half of MSRP.
I'm ready to give up on this. Truck prices are stupid. I check my email. Timer in transit, Fedex has it en route.
I head home and pop a flexiril and head to sleep. The flexeril isn't fixing any of my muscles but manages to knock me the fuck out quite nicely. I need to be up early.
Just got paid, Friday night.... Friday, or FC vs The Washing Machine
As a kid, I always played with my dads toolbox. I took apart tons of stuff and had no idea how to put it back together. Some kids when they're in the tender years made birdhouses and small woodworking projects and it was super fun for them to pretend. Me? I took apart a 1 horse GE electric blower motor my dad short circuited on accident and made a pretend General Electric first generation boiling water nuclear reactor. Which was not really easy to do given the fact that the internet didn't exist in the early 90's. You had to have some modicum of imagination, and in that case your design was neither right nor wrong because nobody could easily prove your design accurate or otherwise. I had effectively built Schrodinger's BWR. I used different colored and sized tapcons and red heads for fuel/control rods if anyone was wondering. I think I can handle the washing machine. Just for good measure I put on my Cal Tech shirt.
As I warm up breakfast, I get an email from a guy named Eddie. He wants to see some 40S&W pistols. I tell him I have a busy morning. I can find some time for him around 10AM if he wants to stop by and I'll have what he's looking for ready.
My fedex guy stops at the Boeing facility first thing in the morning to drop off parts at the loading dock, I know his schedule so I pull up to the dock and hang out there waiting for him. Jeff is right on time and I snag my washer timer. No email back from Eddie so time to head back home to put everything back together. I'm in the middle of buttoning it up when I get a call.
Eddie is standing in my parking lot wanting to check out some 40S&W pistols I have in stock. I tell him all my available inventory on the website and that if he wanted me to have everything ready for him at 10AM, he should have given me an affirmative reply or a phone call. Right now, clean underwear is a priority and Eddie seems to understand this and he says he will chat with me later.
I head back to work. The entire parking lot smells like weed. There's a VW microbus parked on the far side of the lot and I'm downwind of it.
This is not a coincidence.
Wholesale rep tries to sell me $700 complete andersons
again with a min order of 50. Pass.
I get a bunch of messages from other dealers looking to buy ammo off me and resell it to their customers at "reasonable" prices and I tell them they are fools for selling stuff cheap. They just don't get it and they'll be out of business soon.
I get a call from a guy wanting ammo. He wants all my 22LR. I tell him the price and he says "I can't make a profit selling it at those prices!"
This is the reason regular people can't buy ammo just FYI.
It's Friday again. I've got another gun show to prep for. New product just rolls in on the UPS truck. A few glocks, a few shields, and for some reason the rep sent me 5 sets of rear MBUS sights instead of 5 front and 5 rear. Ugh. I manage to get a small allocation of 9mm in on this truck as well as 11 boxes of 10mm! This year is looking better by the week!
I get several calls for AAC mounts that nobody has in stock and the owners are totally confused. One guy had a can and was selling a rifle and sold the
ONLY mount he owned for that can to the guy buying his rifle for $200.
He was under the impression that you could just call AAC and order another mount for $112. I tell him if I can find what he's looking for, I'll need to buy it for $250 from someone and that it will sell for $350-500 by the time I mark it up. He's super confused as to why everyone is running out and buying AAC mounts and why they can't be ordered. I explain AAC/Remington's two bankruptices in 5 years. He is even more confused. I finally blurt it out.
You had ONE mount for your can. You sold it. There are no other mounts. You have paid a tax stamp for and own a can that YOU CAN NO LONGER MOUNT because you sold them. He now realizes the error of his ways. Nothing I can do about that.
Second guy tells me he sees I have AAC mounts. He needs one for his can. I ask him what model he has. He has to crack open the safe.
1: It's an Advanced Armament Corp Norcross Georgia
FC: That's the manufacturer......
1: It's a.........ZERO ENNN DASH ZERO EFFF EFFF
FC: It's a what?
1: It says on the side ZERO ENNN DASH ZERO EFFFF EFFFF
(Editors note:
https://www.advanced-armament.com/assets/products/762-SDN-6.png )
FC: That's not the model.
1: It's not? Then what did I read to you?
FC: That's not a zero. That's the letter O.
- The number O?
FC: O. As in Oh. ENNNN. Dash. Oh. EFFF EFF.
1: I'm confused.
FC: You just read the directions to take the can ON or OFF.
1: Huh that would explain the arrows wouldn't it......
FC: Yeah. What model do you have?
1: It's an MK13-SD!
FC: You need a 90T ratchet mount.
1: Great! You stock em, right?
FC: Nope.
1: But your website has some, those will work right?
FC: Unless you need 51T mounts, I can't help you.
1: Can you suggest someone that can? I need mounts.
FC: AAC is gone, these mounts may never be made again.
1: Shit.
Not to be out done, I get one more phone call.
1: hey this is brent, I need an AAC mount
FC: What model you got?
1: 7.62
FC: Right, thats the caliber.
1: RS7!
FC: SR7?
1: That's the one! I need an SR 7 mount in 5.56, the one I have is in 7.62
FC: Got four here. $400.
1: I just need one.
FC: That is for one.
1: WHAT? FOR ONE? Why's it so expensive?
FC: Remington went under. These may never be made again. I've been buying up everything I've been able to find so I can run the table.
1: That's a good business move.
FC: Not my first rodeo.
1: Well for $400 I'll just take a mount off a rifle I'm not using and I'll set that up. Thanks anyways.
(90 minutes later, my door swings open)
FC: What can I do for you?
1: I'm brent, we talked about that RS7 mount.
FC: SR7.
1: Whatever. I got this here and it does not even fit! It's for the wrong rifle! I need the right mount, this one is in 5.56 I need the one for the 7.62
FC: Lemme see what you got.
(Looks at package. AAC 90T TAPER MOUNT FH SR-5 5.56 1/2x28)
FC: What are you mounting this to?
1: AR15 in 223
FC: This is the correct mount.
1: No it's not! It does not fit!
FC: Does not fit barrel or can?
1: The can! I mounted it to the barrel and the can won't work! Need the one for the RS7!
FC: SR7
1: Whatever! I have a 7.62 can, this mount is for 5.56 and it's the wrong one.
FC: Who sold you this mount?
1: The gun store across the street from my house.
FC: You live an hour away, why didn't you go there?
1: I did, they don't have this mount in 7.62, I went there first.
FC: And they didn't explain this to you?
1: What is there to explain? This mount is marked 5.56. My can isn't 5.56. It's 7.62.
FC: Oh, so you want the one marked 7.62 in 1/2x28.
1: Exactly!
FC: 7.62 mounts aren't made in 1/2x28, all the 90T mounts are 90T exterior and the threading internally is different.
1: You're wrong.
FC: Please, argue with the guy wearing a caltech shirt.....
1: Prove it.
(I open his package and I grab an SR7 out of the safe. I press the latch down and thread it on)
1: You son of a bitch.
FC: You want to argue with me some more?
1: So what mount do I need?
(I pull out one of my mounts and show him side by side they're exactly the same)
1: Hmmmm. Okay. I must have done something wrong.
FC: There's not a lot of ways to do this wrong, but you found one. Go try it again.
(90 minutes later he calls back and tells me I was right)
What the fuck is with all the AAC people this week that are totally clueless?
But hey, at least I have clean underwear.
I am in my late twenties and make $60,000 working as an architect in the northwestern US. Not sharing exact details since the industry is a small world and I’d like to share candidly! I should also add that I mention my budgeting software a few times in this post - I’m not sponsored by them, I’m just a little obsessed with budgeting.
INTRO QUESTIONS Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it? Absolutely. My parents both had to be on their own at a very young age, so they were focused on making sure I had solid footing for financial independence. College was a big part of that plan. (You can absolutely build a great career without a college education - this was just my parents' perspective.) Obviously you can no longer pay tuition by scooping ice cream during the summer like they did, but they were very against the idea of loans (to put it lightly) so I wouldn’t have been able to afford 90% of the schools I was accepted to. As a teenager that really bummed me out since I wanted to move away! I ended up going to an in-state university where my tuition was funded via a combo of scholarships from the school, my parents' college savings and state government scholarships. My parents paid my rent for the years I had to live off campus (I remember thinking $400 a month rent was so expensive.....lol) and I funded my spending money with a few different part time jobs, working two or three at any given time. Some of those jobs were at the university and related to my degree so it was good practical experience too!
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent/guardian(s) educate you about finances? My parents told me things but didn't necessarily explain in detail how everything worked. In hindsight I wish I'd started using something like YNAB much younger so I could understand the impact and potential of my money (whether I saved it or spent it). My parents talked a lot about avoiding consumer debt and warned me about interest as well as depreciation when it came to buying a car brand new or something like that. When I was a young adult they got me Bogle's book which was a good foundation for my knowledge about investing.
Did you worry about money growing up? I wasn’t worried as much as I was confused. My parents’ advice and influence seemed so opposite of what I saw happening around me. For instance, they are generally against debt of any kind, whereas excessive spending and living on credit seemed to be the status quo for everyone else I knew. They invest money into their hobbies but don't buy flashy cars or new phones or anything like that, even now that they are empty nesters making good money.
There was also a gradual shift where I realized that when I grew up I wasn't going to be making as much money as my parents did, and that was an adjustment. In hindsight, perhaps I should have chosen a career where I would be better compensated, but you'd be hard pressed to convince my eighteen year old self of that. I find my job fulfilling and I think our work has a positive impact on our community, which is worth a lot to me, but good will doesn't pay the rent. If you know anyone planning to become an architect advise them to take any route that doesn’t end in crippling loans. Compensation in this industry is not proportional to the education and experience it takes to get here (more on this later).
Do you worry about money now? Yes and no. Money is definitely much more of a concern because I don't have a lot of excess, but I do feel I have a good handle on my financial situation and am making progress toward my goals. In the big picture affecting myself and others, I really worry about wage stagnation and income inequality.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net? I became financially independent when I moved out of state after graduation. I definitely have a safety net in my parents, in the sense that I know I wouldn't end up on the street if things really went south - they've loaned me money when I've had to pay for expensive procedures and that sort of thing. I drive an old car that they transferred to me in exchange for doing all the work on their home renovation - perks of having an architect for a child! I marked the categories below where I had a leg up from my family with an asterisk and included those details. I like to be transparent because I feel like shit when I see people my age who own homes, go on vacation, and eat out at restaurants regularly while those things are not possible for me. It's all relative, so someone is probably looking at me the same way. I'm not living an extravagant lifestyle, but having a degree and a car debt-free is a big deal and I can confidently say I wouldn't be where I am today without my family's help.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain. Yes. A few years ago I inherited money following the loss of a family member. The majority of it went into my retirement accounts. I used $300 of it to buy a locket in their memory - I wondered if I would regret that purchase since I've never owned nice jewelry before, but I love it and wear it all the time!
______________________________________________________
ASSETS AND DEBT *Retirement balance: ~$12,000 split between 401k and Roth IRA. I started contributing as soon as I could, and some of this was the money I inherited. My employer doesn't do a 401k match and that plan has a higher expense ratio, so I put most of my retirement savings in the Roth IRA. Right now I have $100 deducted pretax for the 401k just so I have a mix of tax deferred savings.
Checking account balance: $3,029. Money I will use to pay rent, bills, utilities, and pay off my credit card balance each month. I use YNAB to figure out if I have enough money to make a purchase, so I don't pay a lot of attention to the actual bank balance or let it fool me into thinking "Of course you can 'afford' to spend $200 at Sephora!"
(Narrator: She could not.) Savings account balance: $3,235 spread across several accounts. Here are the specifics, if anyone is interested:
- Irregular Expenses: $1,631. Money that is set aside for specific purposes but won't be needed for a while. This includes funds for car repairs, taxes, passport/drivers license renewal, annual memberships/subscriptions, and eventual phone, laptop and car replacements. I use the "target balance by date" feature in YNAB. Tracking each future expense is a little over the top, but it gives me a lot of insight into where my money is actually going. I used to have a vague budget but every month there was something "unexpected" that put me in the red, like needing new tires or an annual subscription renewal. Eventually I had to get real about the fact that most of those things COULD have been anticipated and prepared for, had I been paying attention. Once I have more of a financial buffer I'll likely consolidate into simpler categories - for instance, a car category that includes parking, gas, drivers license, registration, maintenance and repairs.
- Emergency Fund: $1,604. The emergency fund is really only for income replacement if I get laid off or have to take time off due to injury/disability, which is why it's totally separate. The construction industry has ups and downs and I’ve already been laid off once, which is why I'd like to have a full six months of living expenses to fall back on. First milestone is $3,000 and I'm halfway there!
FSA account balance: $1,200. This covers copays and prescriptions.
Credit card debt: $0. I'm proud of this! Before I started using YNAB I struggled with credit card float but I have a better handle on my expenses now. I am actually living within my means and auto-pay my card in full each month.
*Student loan debt: $0. See the question above about higher education.
Equity: $0, renting. Home ownership?
In this economy? ______________________________________________________
INCOME Income progression: I'm skipping over all my minimum wage service industry jobs for the sake of brevity.
TL;DR They all sucked. During college I had a few part time jobs during the school year and worked full time during the summer. These jobs ranged from $8-12/hr.
My starting salary after graduation was $43,000. This job was a mess and I got "laid off" AKA taken off the projects I was specifically hired for, replaced by a man, and then told they didn't have enough work to keep me. The boss apparently wanted someone who could be his "right hand man" and I "wasn't the right fit." That was definitely true! This job did a number on my self esteem, since I didn’t have enough experience to know that the things I experienced were very inappropriate (even before the layoff) and that the “problems” with my performance were actually just blatant mismanagement and poor communication. Anyway, onward and upwards....
I was hired by my second job at $48,000 with paid overtime (yay!) but the next year I got promoted to
$51,000 WITHOUT overtime, so I actually made less money than the year before. I call that my Demotion Promotion. The next year I went up to
$55,000, which basically broke even with the paid overtime year. Then a
multiyear shit storm of cancelled projects, pandemic, and economic instability happened.
Thankfully I stayed employed and at the end of 2020 I was bumped up to $60,000. This is the first time my take-home pay has changed significantly in at least three years. I wish the raise were more, but obviously I'm lucky to even have kept my job during the pandemic, much less gotten a raise. I also asked to be promoted to a role that I am already doing the work for, and I didn't get that promotion, which made me have second thoughts about my prospects at my current firm. I am also in the process of getting my architectural license, and although it doesn't necessarily mean a pay increase, it will theoretically help give me leverage for promotions and an increase in responsibility. Architects are underpaid in general, especially considering the amount of education and experience required to legally call yourself an architect. Historically it's been a "gentleman's profession" for white men who were already wealthy and wanted to be seen as great artists. The whole foundation of the industry is toxic, although it seems to be changing slowly.. Right now I'm focusing on developing skills and getting experience while also advocating for better and more equitable compensation as much as I can. I am definitely concerned about my long term earning potential, but that might just be a result of my limited experience and stifled opportunities for growth.
Monthly take home: ~$3,700 Gross pay is $5,000. Deductions:
- Taxes: ~$1,050
- Insurance: $20 (I get medical, dental and vision insurance through work and this is the only thing that gets deducted - yay!)
- 401k: $100 pretax
- FSA: $100
This is my only income. I have thought about pursuing a second income source, but for now I am spending my time studying for licensure exams and focusing on learning and maximizing my earning potential in my industry.
______________________________________________________
EXPENSES Regular monthly expenses:
- Rent: $1,400
- I rent a one bedroom apartment with my dog. He is an asshole who doesn't pay his share of rent.
- Groceries: $350-$450
- I barely eat at restaurants, even before COVID, so this covers essentially all my food plus things like toilet paper and cleaning products. These days I use Instacart a lot and tip pretty generously, so I include the tips in my grocery budget. Part of my produce needs are currently covered by a farm share subscription I got as a birthday gift (such a good gift idea!)
- Parking: $125
- This is for a secured garage. There is a lot of theft/damage to cars in my neighborhood, and it keeps my car out of the elements. I'm trying to make this car last forever!
- Carental insurance: $100
- Utilities: $100
- Includes electricity, water, gas, sewer, trash.
- Internet: $45
- Cell phone: $30
- Pet insurance: $50
- Monthly subscriptions: $45
- Includes streaming, spotify, cloud storage, VPN.
- Laundry: $30
- Prescriptions: $50
- Dog: ~$200
- Average monthly cost for vet care, food, supplies, medications
Savings:
- Emergency fund: $300
- Roth IRA: $200
I have various other categories in my budget that I put money toward each month like donations, gifts, clothing, dining at restaurants. I'm not listing them here since I don't necessarily spend in those areas each month.
______________________________________________________
WEEKLY DIARY FRIDAY Daily Total: $340.36 (starting off with a bang, apparently!)
7 am: I recently arrived home from traveling, so today is day 1 of the return quarantine. (Before you judge, I was helping a relative who had a big procedure.) I made an effort to use up everything in the fridge before I left, so it's nearly empty. I wake up ravenous and order a breakfast burrito, potatoes and coffee to be delivered:
$18.22. I wore my mask door to door, and after a whole day of plane travel without food or water I'm essentially a raisin in human form. I chug water as fast as it'll come out of the tap, inhale my food and log on remotely for work. I have several meetings today. I'm thankful I only need to look presentable from the shoulders up.
11 am: I scheduled a grocery order with Instacart, which came to
$202.90. While I'm waiting for the order to arrive and sorting through my inbox, I catch up on my podcasts and hear news of Instacart's recent union busting layoffs. Yikes. Not renewing this year! I hop back on the app and give the delivery person an even more generous tip than usual, and make sure the auto-renewal for Instacart Express is disabled.
1 pm: During lunch I do some online shopping. To thank my friend who house-sat (apartment-sat?) for me, I order a ceramic vase and I'm filling it with little presents and treats:
$50. Another friend's birthday is coming up, so I order a few things from another local shop. Her gift comes to
$40.46. Finally, I order some pillow inserts for my apartment:
$28.78.
2 pm: After attending my meetings and responding to all time sensitive messages, I review consultant drawings and make some notes for what I need to tackle over the course of next week. I snack pretty much continuously. One of my favorite things about working from home is that I can eat freely without dealing with stupid commentary or diet talk. No, Sharon, I don't want to hear about how you're "so bad" for eating an entire cookie or how you're attempting keto for the millionth time. When we were in the office, some of my coworkers would make comments on how the lunch I packed was so healthy, as if it were some moral achievement. Bitch, I'm getting coffee and eating a piece of cake when I'm done with this salad! I have endocrine issues and have struggled with weight fluctuations my entire life. At this point I've done a lot of work to address my relationship with food and dieting, and I know that sort of talk is really not helpful for me. I'm sure my coworkers don't have bad intentions but I'm just over it.
6 pm: After work I sort through the mail and packages that arrived while I was away. I'm so tired. I stretch, do a face mask and eat half a THC gummy before bed. I sleep like the dead.
SATURDAY Daily total: $33.24
10 am: Nothing on my calendar this weekend! I devote the day to cleaning and doing projects around the apartment. I struggle with renting because I want to fix things up and make changes, especially since I do this sort of thing for a living! Even though I'm a really good tenant and have been here for years, my crappy landlord won't allow improvements even if I paid for the materials and/or labor myself. One of my windows has a crack in the glass that the property manager said isn't a problem because "it's not a hole." These windows are like ninety years old, so I'm pretty sure it's gonna become a hole any day now - I'm just hoping it's not winter when that happens. For my next apartment I'd really like to find an individual who owns and manages the property themselves so I have more flexibility and someone will actually appreciate my efforts to keep the place in good shape! Those landlords are few and far between these days.
12 pm: Even though it's cold AF, I open the windows to get some fresh air inside. Spring cleaning can be in January right? To complement my organizing efforts, I order some bins and refill tape for my label maker:
$33.24. 3 pm: I lay on the floor, hoping to bask in the silence and lack of responsibilities. However, my neighbors are loud af. I wonder how much you have to spend on rent to get an apartment with any semblance of sound isolation?
7 pm: I mostly forget to eat today and end up feeling like crap as a result. This is not good for anyone but especially people with hormone issues. I end up eating a bunch of beef jerky and Starbursts for dinner instead of an actual meal (do as I say, not as I do, I guess.....)
SUNDAY Daily total: $0
9:30 am: Slept in late again. I had crazy night terrors the entire night - they get a lot worse for me during periods of stress and anxiety, and I’m sure my beef & candy dinner didn’t help. Weed helps, hence the gummies. I wear an Apple Watch and when I look at my sleep patterns it's really obvious which nights I used THC. Thank you, drugs!
I eat a big bowl of fruit and yogurt for breakfast - I splurged on berries when I got groceries! I left coffee grounds steeping overnight for cold brew, so I prep that too. I don't mind drinking iced coffee in the winter and it's so much easier than doing pour-over every day.
1 pm: I schedule a drive-through COVID test for later in the week. The weather is pretty godawful - it was supposed to snow but that quickly became freezing rain instead. I manage to sneak in a few short walks with my dog but otherwise we spend the day snuggled under a blanket eating snacks and watching Schitt's Creek.
MONDAY Daily total: $95
8 am: Very few meetings today, so I dig through the rest of the emails and messages I missed while traveling last week.
12 pm: During lunch I lay in my bed - one of the luxuries of remote work, second only to elastic waistbands. On the other hand, I have pandemic fatigue and it's being exacerbated by the shitty weather. Returning to isolation in my apartment is jarring. The space is small. My loud neighbors suck. I wish I could go on a long walk. I miss my family. I want a hug. I am tired of hearing people complain about how hard "isolation" is when they have a house, partner, backyard, cable, and a ten person "pod" to socialize with. The only human contact I had for nearly a year was with my dentist drilling out an old filling. When I traveled to see my family I quarantined upon arrival and got tested, but I still didn't feel comfortable snuggling and hugging them since we would need to be in and out of hospitals for the procedure and appointments. It was still wonderful to see them in person, despite the circumstances. My stress and loneliness is fuel for the fire of my rage at people who still don't take this shit seriously. I cope by snuggling my dog, who I am always thankful for but especially now. I'm really glad that we are able to spend so much time together.
1:30 pm: I spend the rest of the day cleaning up drawings and prepping for a meeting tomorrow.
7 pm: I got a surprise bill in the mail for one of the COVID tests I took when I was traveling. I have to pay
$95 on top of the copay at the visit - this is the price WITH insurance. Our healthcare system is garbage.
12 am: I can’t sleep. I get a tickle in my throat. I think it’s a result of having the radiator on for several days straight - my nose, mouth and eyes are all very dry - but I get up and check my temperature (normal) and make sure I can still smell the detergent scent on my pajamas (I can). I put in some eye drops before going back to bed.
TUESDAY Daily total: $0 and some sanity
8:57 am: I stay in bed until the very last minute.
\a frenzy of anxiety that lasts the entire day**
5 pm: The focus of my anxiety runs the gamut from work to COVID to earthquakes to my dog’s health to increasing cost of living. I make it through work despite my rapidly crumbling mental state. I try to give myself a break and remind myself that it’s okay if I’m not doing my absolute best in the midst of all this. In any case, the meeting I prepared for yesterday got pushed to next week and nobody informed me. 🙄 I check my temperature. While I’m at it, I take my blood pressure and note that too.
P.S. Regarding anxiety disorders, I am prescribed medication and go to therapy. I highly recommend seeking therapy if you’re having trouble dealing with things on your own - you don't need to have a diagnosed disorder to benefit from it. Many providers do sliding scale.
6 pm: The weather is absolutely disgusting. I have very few opportunities for exercise between bad weather, no gyms, and living in an apartment above someone else. Even if I suit up in all my rain gear, my dog refuses to walk very far when it's wet. Maybe I should move my coffee table tomorrow so I can do some weights or yoga.
7 pm: I catch up on the WSB/GME mayhem and memes, then I play around with the forecasting tool on my 401k website. After my upcoming paycheck I might experiment with bumping my 401k contribution up. If my living expenses don't increase, I might be able to get closer to 10% over the course of this year without too much pain.
9 pm: I snuggle my dog and play games on my phone until bedtime.
WEDNESDAY Daily total: $37.50
7 am: My farm share box arrives today. Thank god - I dropped the ball and got very few veggies in my grocery order, plus I've been rationing the berries I spent so much money on.
9:30 am: I get my COVID swab. I had to drive half an hour to get there. I wonder what the bill will be for this one. Results could take up to a week. Why isn't this easier? On the way home I get gas:
$37.50.
10 am: Since I got back earlier than expected and it's not raining (!!!!) I take the opportunity to go on a walk with my dog. It's really nice to sweat and get my heart rate up a bit.
11:30 am: My dog was snoring so loudly that I had to mute myself during a call. I guess the walk wore him out!
8 pm: I finish up work and join a zoom happy hour with some friends. I bust out a bottle of wine that I got for Christmas. The call is pretty fun, although by the end I definitely have screen fatigue. I go to bed pretty much immediately.
THURSDAY Daily total: $7.89
6 am: After about 5 am I couldn't get back to sleep, so I get up and take the dog for a walk. Until I get a negative test I've been wearing my mask even outdoors, and it leads to condensation from my breath forming droplets on my eyelashes. When it's cold enough, they freeze. Facial icicles - just another thrilling pandemic experience. After I get home I towel off my dog's muddy paws, rinse my face and get to work, since I have six hours straight of meetings today. (Ugh)
~a million years later~ 6 pm: I order a new digital thermometer because mine consistently tells me my temperature is just above 96 degrees and that can't be true? Anyway, it's
$7.89. I detach my butt from my desk chair and go make some pasta with pesto for dinner.
8 pm: I start getting my shit together to study for my next licensure exam. They've been looming over me. I got derailed by COVID - maybe I can pass the rest in 2021? If there were a guaranteed raise or promotion I'd probably be a lot more motivated to shell out $1400+ for these tests....
9 pm: I figure preparing to study is enough for today. I download a few library books on my kindle, take half a THC gummy and snuggle in bed to read.
12 am: Before I go to sleep I check my phone and see that I tested negative for COVID! I'm glad the results came back so fast, and it's a huge relief - I'm very thankful for all the measures I took to travel safely even though it was not at all fun or comfortable. Stoned and sleepy, I dream sweet dreams of the paycheck hitting my account tomorrow morning, and I can't fucking wait to budget it.
______________________________________________________
WEEKLY EXPENSES - Food + Drink: $221.12
- $202.90 groceries
- $18.22 delivery
- Fun / Entertainment: $0 (Thank god library books and fucking around on the internet are free)
- Home + Health: $164.91
- $102.89 medical
- $62.02 home items
- Clothes + Beauty: $0
- Transport: $37.50 on gas
- Other: $90.46 on gifts
GRAND TOTAL: $513.99 ______________________________________________________
REFLECTION This was definitely a higher spending week than usual, primarily due to the fact that I was just returning from out of town and had to put gas in the car, which doesn't happen often since I work from home right now and walk most places. I think my spending is typically pretty responsible. My main financial priority in 2020 was creating a realistic budget - I had been using YNAB for a while but kept underestimating how much money I needed in each category. I dialed that in, and now in 2021 I'd like to focus on minimizing expenses where possible (especially things that aren't important to me) as well as saving (both in my emergency fund and retirement) so I can get that sweet, sweet compound interest. In 2021 I'd also really like to improve my wardrobe and look a bit more professional, but I'm obviously not motivated to spend money on work clothes while we are still 100% remote. Long term I would really like to increase my income, especially since the cost of living is only going up. That means getting my license is high on the list of priorities.
Hope you enjoyed the diary, and let me know if there is anything unclear that I can elaborate on further!
(edited to fix a few grammar and math issues!)
Browsing the classified ads was always a hobby of mine on bored days. I liked going to garage sales when I was younger, but nowadays the online ads have far more selection.
Sometimes I’ll have a specific item in mind but on one particular day I was just browsing through the items for sale in my city.
Skis, TVs, gaming systems, record players, bicycles, even cars and apartment leases – you name it and you could find it on there. And often for a lot cheaper than you’d expect. I’ve bought a few items from those websites for less than half the price of what they would cost in a store. The apartment I live in and the car I drive were all bargains I found browsing online classifieds. And I’ve also sold some shit that wouldn’t have fetched half as much in a pawn shop if I’d brought them there instead.
This particular ad caught my eye right away. The next generation gaming system I had been waiting to buy was listed for sale.
“$800 – willing to take unusual trades,” the ad read.
I couldn’t believe it. The consoles were coveted where I lived, you literally could not find them anywhere right now. And I actually had recently received a windfall of cash that enabled me to purchase it. I just ignored the second part about “unusual trades” since I figured maybe they wanted some vintage gaming system or whatever instead. I just had cash.
I’ve always loved video games, but find myself missing out on entire generations of console systems. Usually when friends talk about the new games they are playing I’m left sitting out of the conversation.
I had decided I really wanted to get this one with everybody else and be part of it this time. I immediately sent a message to the person.
Jgrupe: Hey, I saw your ad for the game system for sale and was wondering if it’s still available?
I was surprised when the guy responded immediately to my message.
Reg: Yeah, it’s still available. Lots of interest but if you have the cash today it’s yours.
Jgrupe: I have cash right now! Where can we meet?
Reg: I’m disabled, so you’ll have to come to me. Can you be at my place in 20 minutes?
He gave me the address. My common sense was quickly outweighed by my urgent desire for next generation gaming capabilities.
Jgrupe: I’ll be right over! Just need to stop by the bank.
Since I live in such a small town, I didn’t think the guy could be trouble. It’s the sort of place where everybody knows everybody, and although I had previously been very cautious about these sorts of things, after doing transactions on the website multiple times I had grown surer of myself and less concerned with the potential problems.
After taking the cash out at the ATM, I proceeded to the address. It was a little ways past the city limits, and I saw farmers’ fields along the way, where crops had been harvested and freshly fallen snow was accumulating between the rows.
I turned onto a side road, and then another side road, this one gravel and no longer paved. It was late afternoon by that point and the sun was already beginning to glow orange as it made its descent towards the horizon.
The gravel road went on for a while and I double checked my GPS. It was coming up soon and I slowed down to read the number on the blue address sign out front by the road at the end of the driveway. This was it.
Pulling the car over to the side of the road, I got out. Something occurred to me and I pulled out my phone and sent a quick text to a friend saying I would check back with them after going inside, remembering a bit of wisdom I had heard once.
Then I walked up to the front door and knocked on it briskly.
The man who answered was in a wheelchair but I could tell he was tall and broad shouldered, wearing a stained white tank top with hair poking out at the chest and armpits. A smell wafted out of dirty laundry and spoiled food. He didn’t say anything, just waited for me to speak.
“Hi. I had talked to somebody named ‘Reg’ about a console for sale? They said to come here to pick it up?”
“Oh. Right. Definitely. Yeah, come on in.” His demeanor changed immediately from gruff and unwelcoming to friendly and jovial. He had a warm grin which he disarmed me with when I was about the rebuff his invitation inside.
“Uh, sure.”
He closed the door behind me and locked it.
Wheeling back towards the kitchen, he waved at me to follow him.
“You got here just in time. Somebody else was saying they’d give me nine hundred for it but I told them I had already made a deal. Still, I was starting to think twice. But hey, I’m a man of my word. I told you eight hundred so eight hundred it is.”
“Right on, thanks man. I appreciate it.”
“Oh, don’t worry about it. You’re doing me a favour.”
“How’s that?”
“Well, it’s kind of hard to explain. Come on down the hall and I’ll show it to you. You’ve got cash, right?”
I was following him down the hall cautiously now, wondering what he was getting at. The whole situation was starting to seem peculiar to me for some reason. I had a dawning feeling of wrongness that made me go queasy in my stomach.
As he entered the room at the end of the hall, I followed him, despite my better judgement. It’s difficult sometimes to follow your instincts, but I’m beginning to realize it’s usually the right thing to do.
The room I entered was similarly filthy as the rest of the house, and barren of much except for garbage and a bed.
“This is Reg,” the guy in the wheelchair told me.
A man was in the room waiting. He gave me a cold stare as I approached and I realized they looked similar, like brothers.
“You’re here for the system?”
I was suddenly becoming scared. What had I gotten myself into?
“Yeah.”
“Good. You brought the cash, right?”
Despite my hesitation and growing concern, I nodded.
“Well, I’ll tell you what. Just put it away. We don’t want your money. We’re more interested in trades.”
“What did you have in mind? I don’t have anything to trade for it.”
They looked at each other and the man in the wheelchair nodded at the other guy. He left the room and came back with a garbage bag, then left and came back with another, then another, and another. The bags looked heavy.
“Four bags. Four dumpsters. Four different cities. You go to each dumpster and throw a garbage bag inside. You do them all tonight, after midnight.”
I considered this.
“Can’t I just give you the money? I don’t think I want to know what’s in those bags.’
“We’re hunters. Sometimes we just go over our limit a bit. This time we went over by a lot. Wasted meat, it’s a shame. For first time offenders like yourself they would just let you off with a warning. But for us. Well, let’s just say this would be our third strike.”
He opened up on of the bags and showed it to me. Inside was a fuzzy decapitated deer body. Milky white eyes stared up at me from a slack faced doe’s head.
“Why all the different cities, then? Why not just dump them at one place?”
“That’s not important. Just do like we ask and you keep the thing free and clear. How’s that sound?”
They held the gaming system out towards me, wrapped in cellophane and with the exorbitant price sticker still attached.
Don’t ask me why, but I took it.
“Do it just like we said. No messing around. Four cities, four dumpsters. All tonight after midnight. We will know if you don’t do it exactly like we told you.”
They told me to go wait in my car and pop the trunk. Then they proceeded to bring all four garbage bags out and they put them in the back of my car. I could feel the weight of them causing the suspension to sag. It would be a relief to have them out of the car.
I went home and instead of playing with the new console like I had been anticipating, I ended up putting it in a closet in my back room and nervously watched TV and did seldom little else until midnight.
At 12 on the dot, I got up and walked to the door on shaky legs. I nearly forgot my keys and wallet, remembering them just as I was about to walk out the door.
The car smelled like old meat when I got inside. As well as the coppery smell of coagulated blood which permeated it. If I got pulled over the car would be searched for sure, I thought.
I rolled down all the windows and started to drive.
Part of me just wanted to dump all the bags in the first bin I came across, but I had a feeling that was a bad idea. Somehow, they would know.
I left town and drove to the nearest city using the freeway, driving the speed limit the whole time, hoping I wouldn’t come across a drunk driving checkpoint somewhere.
The first gas station I came across in Brantville had a green dumpster around the side of the building, in a shadowy area where I couldn’t see any security cameras pointing.
I parked the car next to the bin and hopped out to make my first drop off.
My heart was thumping hard in my chest as I grabbed the bag out of the trunk. It was so damn heavy I could barely lift it. The guy back at that house must have been strong as hell, I realized.
Using all of my strength, I managed to get it over the lip of the dumpster and ran back to the driver’s door of my car and hopped in, speeding away like a criminal, which I guess I technically was since the sign on the dumpster said “NO DUMPING OF HOUSEHOLD TRASH” – not that this was your typical household trash.
I drove to the next nearest city and found a supermarket with a similarly poorly lit dumpster around the back. I parked closer this time and lined up the car for a quick escape.
I jumped out and repeated the same steps, pulling out the heavy black garbage bag from the trunk and struggling to push it over the top of the wall of the dumpster. As I lifted it I couldn’t help but notice the sloshing sound of the body parts and blood inside the bag getting jostled around. I heaved it over the side and as it got stuck on the edge, I found myself really hoping they had used heavy-duty garbage bags. The bundle of body parts and bodily fluids hung over my head, swaying back and forth precipitously, and I winced giving it one more shove. It finally rolled over the lip and made a heavy, wet thud as it landed on the other side.
The next town had a fast food restaurant on its outskirts and I pulled up next to a dumpster beside the grease disposal bin. I was about to get out of my car when one of the workers came out of the back of the restaurant carrying a couple trash bags and heading quickly towards me.
Terrified, I drove off, hoping they hadn’t noted my license plate. I was starting to really wonder about all this. Why hadn’t I asked to look in the other bags? What if they weren’t all dead deer, but some other dead things in those bags as well?
I pictured dead people, hacked up hookers, and dismembered men in suits suddenly instead of the animal parts I had seen in the bag at the house.
Finally I came across another building with a dumpster that looked safe. I pulled around back and parked next to it.
Bag number three.
This garbage bin was behind a strip plaza and the whole place was closed for the night. It was secluded and I could tell I was alone with little chance of anyone stumbling upon me back there.
I went around to the trunk again. Opening it, I looked at the final two garbage bags. They were marked with a white “X” which I hadn’t noticed before when we were inside the house. Feeling emboldened by the privacy that the dimly lit parking lot afforded me, I opened up one of the garbage bags in the trunk and looked inside.
I nearly fainted. My vision went shades of yellow, then red, and nearly black as it filled with spots.
At the last second I regained my focus and looked down again at the face staring up at me from the garbage bag.
It was no longer the whitened eyes of a doe, but the brown eyes of a man that stared up at me from inside the garbage bag. His face was covered in blood but the resemblance was unmistakeable.
The face belonged to the man from the house. It was the exact same. But how the hell was that possible?
Terrified, I tied the bag up again and pulled it out of the trunk. I lifted it over the lip of the dumpster and pushed it in.
THUMP!
It landed on the pile of refuse inside with a loud noise. I immediately went back and grabbed the other bag.
Fuck this, I said to myself. I just wanted to get rid of the bags at that point. I was terrified of being caught with a garbage bag full of human remains. This would not look good if I was discovered.
As I lifted the final bag over the side of the garbage bin, it caught on something.
The bag ripped as I pushed it over the lip and half of it came spilling out onto my side, splashing over me and raining dismembered body parts and bodily fluids down on me from above. The stench was horrifying and overpowering.
I was covered head-to-toe in coagulated blood and body parts were littering the ground around me.
Another human head looked up at me from the ground and I saw it was the face of the other man from the house. The one in the wheelchair. They were both identical to the two men at the house. I remembered thinking they had looked like brothers. But two sets of twins? That didn’t seem likely.
My mind struggled with the possibilities. Had the two men been replicated somehow? Replaced by aliens or clones? Had I been charged with disposing of the real bodies as the imposters took over their lives?
Suddenly my cell phone began to ring.
It rang and rang but I was afraid to answer it. I couldn’t help but think of what he had said back at the house.
*Four dumpsters. Four cities. We will know if you don’t do it exactly like we told you.*
Maybe I should have done as they said.
JG TCC You may obtain a standard (i.e., non-REAL ID compliant) replacement driver's license online UNLESS one or more of the following apply : Your license is expired, cancelled, suspended, or revoked. Your current license was issued prior to January 1, 2004. You need to change or correct the name on your license. If you are 21 years or older and have a vertical driver’s license or nonoperators ID card, you may acquire a horizontal card replacement. View online replacement requirements: Am I eligible to replace my driver's license or identification card online? Please have your driver’s license or ID card and a credit or debit card ready to complete this transaction. For $20, you can replace a lost, stolen, or damaged license or instruction permit. You'll get your replacement in 2-4 weeks. If you haven't received it after 30 days, call us at 360.902.3900 (TTY: call 711 ). We'll mail it to the address we have on file. If it needs to be updated, change your address first. In order to get one you'll need your drivers license number and some documentation. We list all the documentation needed, and let you know how and where to get it done. If your state offers replacements online, we'll let you know. And for many states, we even list the fees for a replacement license. If you lose your driver’s license or state ID card, you can get it replaced online, by mail or by visiting the local government agency that issues licenses. Your options for getting a replacement... Temporary replacement licence. You can get a one-time, temporary driver’s licence mailed to you, if your driver’s licence is valid (not cancelled or suspended). A temporary licence is only valid for a fixed period of time. You need to visit a ServiceOntario centre, when you return to Ontario, to replace the temporary licence with a new driver’s licence. Generally, if you’ve lost your license out-of-state your replacement options include one or all of the following: Apply for a replacement license online and receive it by mail. Apply for a replacement by snail mail or e-mail and receive it by mail. Wait until you get home to apply for a replacement. Texas Drivers License Replacement Process: Visit Texas’s DPS Official Portal. Download the Dl-43 form applying for Replacement of Texas Driver License. Before filling the application form, once go through the form and fill the form with correct information. Select your nearest Texas Driver License Office. To avoid the line at the Texas Driver License Office. Book an appointment applying for Get Started With Drivers License Replacement Assistance Online. If your license has been recently lost or stolen, you will need to replace it as soon as possible. Without a valid license, you will not be able to drive legally in your state or present a valid form of identification when necessary. The two most common methods of replacing your lost or stolen license are visiting your local licensing location in person or applying for a replacement online. Under certain circumstances, you may You may be able to print a paper interim license from your myBMV account if you recently renewed or replaced your driver’s license in a BMV branch or online at myBMV.com. If you are temporarily living outside Indiana because you are serving in the military, your license remains valid for 90 days following your discharge from service. You may be eligible for online renewal or replacement. To renew your expired license after you have been discharged, you need to visit a BMV branch and show
