Casino Background Ambience by Hollywood Post

Now not to knock the 1980s synthesizer heavy sounds that a lot of people are clamoring for CP2077, but hear me out. The year is 2077, almost 100 years into the future from when Synthwave would become popular. It just doesn't make sense to me that people in 2K77 would be listening to music from almost a century ago. Of course it would still exist in the time period, but why would it be the defining sound of the era? It's like if we all only listened to 1920s Jazz today and that was the only popular form of music. This is the FUTURE. I want sounds that emulate that. If they strictly relied on Synthwave for the game, it would feel more like a parody of a Cyberpunk world and not a living, breathing environment with a society that actually listens and plays it's own musical style.

I'm now going to divide this post up into 4 sections going into detail of how I'd like the soundtrack to be like in concept, and some specific artists I would have liked to seen CDPR work with. These will be 1. POP 2. PUNK 3. AMBIENT 4. OTHER.

POP

To me, Pop of the future would be fast, bubbly, and high-strung. Bubblegum Hyperpop, with blissful synths, ethereal singing, and a blistering BPM, each song will sound like you're manic on chems but you just don't care.

Now Grimes was a great choice and 4AM is a perfect representation of what I'm talking about, but I would have loved to see some production or even an original song by Sophie herself. Just take a listen to her song Immaterial, It perfectly encapsulates the cyber-enhancement lifestyle.

"I could be anything I want,
Anyhow, anywhere, any place, anyone that I want."

She also is on the cutting edge of Pop production, being a leading figure on PC Music. If she just ups her tempo she'd fit in perfectly with the hyper-spastic sounds of Pop Music in 2077.

Kelela, with her spiritual voice and futuristic-leaning style would also make a great fit for Cyberpunk with the right backing instrumental. While a little slow for what I'm envisioning, Kelela would sound great on a faster track if produced right.

Presenting an interesting duality in their music, Dorian Electra would be an excellent Popstar in Night City. In the future, gender is totally fluid when cybernetics are involved, and Dorian would embody that with some fascinating songs. Dorian Electra could make a larger-than-life androgynous figure tearing up the charts circa 2K77.

As far as producers go, Iglooghost has to be the most futuristic I've ever heard. Mixing tons of genres into one tumbling, bouncing, whirlwind of a song after the other, Iglooghost is already living in 2077 as far as I'm concerned. He could turn any song into a top charting hit in Night City.

Learning that A.G. Cook is the founder of PC Music becomes evident when you hear his stylistic production rinse over you in every song he's put out so far. So sweet they could burst your heart, Cook's songs border some realm between fairies and androids.

Finally, we have Sinjin Hawke and Zora Jones, who's interesting uses of drums and synths could really bring some flavor to the world of Cyberpunk 2077. This production duo would bring the best sonic experiments to the dance floors of your local run-down warehouse rave. These two could turn a gunfight in a nightclub into a sweetly maddening experience easily.

some other examples of chrome Popstars in the making include: SHYGIRL, ROSALÍA, and Sarah Bonito.

PUNK

Punk in the futuristic world of Cyberpunk 2077 should be an amalgamation of everything before it. My controversial hot take is that Rap is the new Punk. More and more rappers these days are embracing the Punk look and ethos, so who better to represent the rockerboys of 2K77 than some of the most popular heavy rappers today? The punk jams of tomorrow need more than just guitars and drums though, maybe include harsh synths and churning bass to really contemporize the barberous sounds of the underground.

Coming in fast and heavy is Denzel Curry, with a furious cadence and a rage brewing underneath every song, Curry would be perfect for a local punk frontman. Already having covered two classics, both rock and punk, Denzel can certainly hold his own in the punk world.

While recording for Cyberpunk 2077 doesn't exactly seem like something Death Grips would be interested in, their sound would slot so flawlessly into the grimy world of Night City. Abrasive and unrelenting, their recent experimentation with gabber is cyberpunk incarnate. The game comes across as a little too commercial for them sadly, but if they did write some original songs for the game, it would be a headspin for sure.

Two figures in the underground punk rap scene today are the cruel boys in City Morgue. With songs featuring biting lyrics about violence in the streets, City Morgue's fierce voices mirror the rejection of society by the rockerboys in Cyberpunk. ZillaKami and SosMula are as close to cyberpsychosis as it gets when it comes to their music. I can only imagine large pits of writhing kids as City Morgue's characters take the stage to belt out the thrashing the crowd so desperately wants.

When it comes to creating the instrumentals of the future rock rebellion, look no further than Clams Casino. A veteran in the underground scene, Clams can add a gritty electronic edge to the guitar riffs of the fictional bands in Night City. Clams Casino would provide an ominous undertone to the already heavy-hitting songs of 2K77.

Having already tried his hand at layering guitars into his deep void-like melodies, Shlohmo is practically a given for production on songs from the rockerboys. I can already envision the dark textures he would weave through the songs he would work on. Shlohmo can even compliment the rocketing pace of Punk with his own take on drum and bass.

Machine Girl is a wild synthesis of sound and frenzy. Assaulting your ears with a high BPM, Machine Girl is an attack of mish-mashed rough ideas and broken harmonies. MG would certainly amp up the viciousness of a band in the production department.

And lastly, we have the one and only Arca. Too dark for Pop, but almost too bouncy for Punk, Arca would bring an interesting dynamic to the music scene in the city. Their own sounds are organic and evil, almost being a commentary on the "metal vs. meat" debate so prominent during this time period. Arca imposes their own brand of neo-futurism that resides wholly in the Cyberpunk time period.

As far as actual punk bands are concerned, there are a plethora of great acts to choose from active today. Ideally I would choose something similar to the chaos of S.H.I.T., School Jerks, or VOID.

AMBIENT

Here is where my contentious opinion comes into play. I do not want Synthwave to be the ambient music in the game. I've already stated my argument for this above, so here I'd like to show you what I would prefer instead. The sonic world of the Cyberpunk genre as a whole to me, is that of the drone of industry, the hum of machines, the steady marching of technology, so steady in fact, that it marches right over humanity. The world of cyberpunk is an unkind one. It is cold, alien, mechanical. The music of the game should reflect that.

I'm happy that Nina Kraviz has been brought on board to represent Techno, but I would have loved to see someone like Abdulla Rashim as well. AR is a master in the hypnotic sound of dimness. Rashim would make an excellent addition to the roster for his industrial trance-like feel.

Vatican Shadow's techno is laser-focused on the political shortcomings behind war and imperialism, so I doubt he'd want to get involved with something as trivial as a video game, but he would make a damn good soundtrack if he did.

Do androids dream of electric sheep? Acronym might have the answer. Their songs are dream-like, yet still feel like a huge machine on a factory floor.

There is a massive stable of DJs CDPR could pick for this project, with a few examples being Luigi Tozzi, SHXCXCHCXSH, or UVB.

I'm not too worried about actual ambient music in the game, I'm sure CD Projekt Red will whip something great up, but I'd love it if it could feel like these particular tracks: Diamondstein, Kuroi Ame, or Hvide Sejl

I would however have liked to see one artist in particular make it onto the composer list. Oneohtrix Point Never has been killing it the last few years with his own brand of strange instrumental ambience. OPN has even worked on composing before, having just scored the latest Safdie brothers' film and working on their previous work Good Time. I'd be excited to hear his audio fingerprints all over the ambient side of the OST.

OTHER

This section revolves around one small aspect of the soundtrack that I think would be an amusing detail. Say you enter a corpo office building and ever so faintly, you hear none other than an original Vaporwave song playing. I know I stated earlier that it would be nonsensical for people of the future to be listening to music from a century ago, but hear me out. Vaporwave is a caricature of corporate commodified music. The music it's re-structuring is designed to be the least offensive, most generic music man can design. Vaporwave actually demolishes said music, and remolds it into something new and interesting. This is what propels my logic to include it into the game. Capitalism is Capitalism. They wouldn't innovate their music if it costs them nothing to keep the same colorless music in the background, but with Vaporwave, it feels like something new at the same time. Some songs that echo that desired feeling are: 豊平区民Toyohirakumin, Cosmic Cycler, and luxury elite.

In closing, This took way longer than I thought it would, but I'm passionate about the genre and the music, so I hope whoever reads this maybe sees it from a different perspective. I made a playlist on Spotify featuring the artists I mentioned and much more that I'm still adding songs to. I also made this video featuring a small mix of said playlist along with some visuals, with a part 2 I'm working on currently. If you made it this far, thanks for coming to my TED Talk. Cheers.

Problem with background sound (pc new Vegas)

Problem with ambience sound in fallout new Vegas pc

Looking for both male and female talent for short lines

🌧✨ Reddit Dragula - S3 Meet The Monsters | Part One ✨🌧

As a pre-conceived warning, this MTM will not be as good as last seasons. Due to my own mistake, I should’ve been more specific on it being more of a look description so I could have free range on the episode writing, however these girls and the other ones coming in the next part SLAYED for their first times, and honestly they’ll make this part good themselves. I apologise.
[START]
“What did you see?”
The sudden opening of the first scene occurs, appearing with a booming lightning strike sound, the constant loud splatter of rain drops pouring from the pewter clouds above can also be heard within the storm. The camera panned from the near trees, outwards into the clearing, where a drenched woman small of stature huddles within a blanket next to a police officer, residing next to the camp fire which had clearly extinguished due to the weather; the relentless amount of opaque, thick smog rising and intoxicating the air. She trembles and shakes in the cold night, shook up from something she had seen. The police officer near her leans further in, patting her back, the tense music continuing to crescendo.
“I saw Ev-evi-evita.”
A close up of a mixture of rain and tears rolling off her jawline happens, then the camera suddenly switching to the policeman's frowning face.
“Ok, this girls clearly done drugs. Just take her somewhere, to her home, whatever.”
The man scratches the rubble upon his jaw, and then stares into the distance of the forest, thinking that he saw a dark silhouette moving around, shaking his head and getting into his car, slamming the door in disappointment. One more lightning strike occurs, the intense, blindening blue blast of lightning covering the screen, transitioning into the new scene.
Las Vegas
11:00 PM
“Back, back, back here again. Spinning the wheel one more time.”
The camera pans through the streams of posh, upper class people in formal attire, treading over the crimson velvet floors and leaving behind their footprints. Fantasia can be seen, back in the same spot of last season, before a casino table in which rests the same wheel used from last season, each quarter reading the name of a final four queen. She also wore the same dress from the last time she stood in the spot. Her large, talon-like, royal blue fake nails come into view as she grabs onto the spin wheel, spinning it and watching it slow down. Vibrations emit from her phone, Fantasia looking down as she sighs and reluctantly answering the call, disrupting her attention to the spinning wheel. Whatever it landed on was blurred out as she turned, and awaits to hear the unknown voice on the call.
“Who died? Have I been sent home yet? Oh no what’s the twist? Wait, I don’t want to know, what is it?” She practically yells down the phone, eyeing up those who walked past her and gave her the evils.
The scene cuts to Fantasia rushing to her car, stumbling in her heels, gripping onto the cold handle and swinging the door open, throwing herself in. She ends the phone call, sighing, and then drives down the strip and out into the dessert. The roaring exhaust on the vintage car emitted vast sounds waves and smoke, whipping up the sand into whirlwinds and suffocating the air that lacked any moisture. The night sky was dawned upon her, with a slight red cast as the sun went down, continuing to drive faster as she looked at the time within her car. She eventually leaves the dessert scene, and finds herself pulling out of a police station, rushing into the doors whilst pushing past people and peering around for the sheriff's office.
“What did you see?”
She drops heavily onto the chair next to the woman who was found earlier, rushing her on for an answer.
“No, I don’t care about the cross dressing pedo, and yes you’re scarred by my stunning face, but a faster answer please. I don’t have all day, not all of us work on the same brain speed of… myself.”
“I saw a dark area, I’m not sure where it was. Almost like an empty room. And there were these monsters…”
The scene fades out, transitioning to another one which shows what she saw. A dark empty area, from what we can presume a room, was shown, only lit by a far flickering bulb in the distance, the only sound is of the faulty electrics and loose wires about the room, occasionally emitting sparks. Faint footsteps echoed off the wall, but coming from no sure direction, the camera spinning slowly until it focuses on a series of unknown figures.
The room was, well, as bright as you could expect an abandoned warehouse-y place to be, with walls as dark as the minds of those that entered it, and a thin veil of dust and mist that intermingled as it fell from the damp, mold-encrusted ceiling. Ava Adore slowly stepped into the light, her platforms scraping against the cold concrete floor. Her outfit was fairly simple-she wore a short, neatly-cut bob wig that just scraped her chin, green face paint dripping down her mouth in some semblance of vomit. Her eyeshadow was an acid-bright yellow and her lips a shade of pink in a similar brightness. Her t-shirt was black with neon pink writing declaring the words "Vomit gore", and her skirt was a similar shade of yellow to her eyes, a skintight PVC material. Her leg attire was quite similar in its simplicity, black fishnets with fake blood dripping down from her thighs in a crude simulation of menstruation. She gave the camera a disinterested stare with her white contacts, as if she felt almost a disdain for her situation. The dark scene fades into a confessional.
[AVA | archdukelidl]: Ugh, I'm Ava Adore, I'm, like, 22? and I'm from the west midlands. Or whichever trash bag you pull me out of after a night of partying. Seriously, I've ended up in some wild places. My drag style is best described in two words: Party filth. Like, acid neon, puke and death. As you can probably tell from my outfit. I don't think it fits into the typical conventions of filth drag but I'll go with it. I like to experiment with horror stuff occasionally too. I would say my drag is out-of-the-box but that just sounds cocky, right? Oh, wait, who gives a fuck? Yeah, it's out of the box. If you can even find a box big enough to fit my fat ass. I have high hopes for myself, like, I don't expect to win, but I expect to put up a damn fight and I will cut a bitch with my fake nails if I have to. But winning would be cool so I'm not gonna do that, because that's like a disqualifiable offence, yeah? I got my drag name from a song by the Smashing Pumpkins, even though their music isn't really what filth is about. I just thought it sounded like a classy name. And I am the absolute opposite of that shit! Anyway, laters! I gotta go find some shit to drink.
“How many others did you see?”
The scene of her vision continues, Fantasias voice heard in the background as she continues to question the girl for answers.
The room was dark, thick smoke covers the room as a dark shadow appears through the smog. Anita walks in, one hand on her mask, the other stretched out in a claw-like fashion. She appears in a beaked mask, akin to those worn by the plague doctors during the black plague. The base of the full black mask is made of metal and the beak is made of hard leather, with clear glass on the eyeholes. She is wearing a red leather sex harness as a top with bare chest. The straps of the harness form a crisscross across her chest and the “straps” are thick enough to cover her nipples. She is wearing a pair of flare pants with feather ruffles on the sides that move beautifully with every step she takes. A rope belt with skulls is wrapped around her waist, with the excess dangling on her left side. She is also wearing an 8-inch black stiletto heel with a chunky front portion. Anita has on black leg warmers made of feathers on her forearms over a black latex wrist-length glove underneath. She accessorizes the look with a necklace with 5 skulls spaced out around it and dangling skull earrings. She is wearing a grey thick dread wig with smaller skulls in it. As Anita walks through the smoke, she takes off the mask, revealing red tribal markings on her forehead, with 2 pointed stripes painted downwards underneath her eyes, perpendicular to her lips. She has on a strong dark smokey eye and no brows, with a strong black lip. Her body and right arm also has matching red tribal markings. To complete the look, she is wearing blackout lenses to add intensity. On her back, she is wearing a rusty copper-colored cage, held by chains like a drawstring bag, with a mystery item in it. As she walks to the center, she twists and squirms as if being possessed by a demon. Once she hits the marking, she stands straight and silent, before turning around to release the black crow in her cage. She laughs maniacally as she watches her crow fly around the room, a symbol of her releasing her evil into the atmosphere.
After the camera focuses on the individual, it slowly fades back into the confessional scene.
[ANITA | passingpeaches ]: Sup whores. My name’s Anita Dragname and I am 25 years old from sunny Singapore. My drag is polished, wicked and gagworthy. I signed up to Reddit Dragula 3 cause I’ve had a taste of competing in RDR1 Remastered and thought I could give this a shot too. Some of my looks on that season have been said to be “very Dragula” by the other girls, so why not? I think out of the 3 elements of Dragula, I resemble Horror the most as I’m always turning spooks, stunting creepy.
The questioning continues to be heard, as another figure can be saw in the distance, beside Anita who had just appeared in the light.
“The werent only two, there were lots. Have you ever just saw something and it’s scarred you?”
“Yeah, I saw RDR2.”
“They kept appearing, it was so odd.”
The dark figure moves closer and closer.
Catheterina steps out covered in dirt, head to toe. She begins by standing with her feet far apart and her arms straight out by her sides so you can take in all of her filthy glory. Her dark auburn hair is large and in charge, extremely unkempt and poofy. The hair is waist length, with the top of the wig beginning six inches above her head. Upon closer inspection, you can see that there are dead roaches all throughout her hair. Her lipstick is chocolate brown, with a smudge on her upper lip to the left to give the impression that she’s been eating dirty ass. Her eye-shadow is bright green and each in the shape of a leaf, with a line coming out of each of her eye-lines to appear as a stem. To top it off, she has a roach pasted on her forehead with two worms coming out of each side to appear as a headband. On her extended arms is a brown garter snake, wrapped around her neck and both of her arms. On her left hand it’s rearing its’ ugly head, fully alive and well, with the snake’s body ending on Catheterina’s right hand. Her chest is covered with a tassel of leaves formed in the shape of a butterfly, with two brown leaves arranged vertically across the sternum, and crumpled up orange leaves to form the breasts. She has a belt that is also made of green leaves with two twigs sticking out at each side, holding up her knee-length, upside-down-cone-shaped skirt that is made of tiny twigs and sticks and slants downwards to the point that it sticks out five inches from her knees, still leaving see through areas. She steps forward with her arms still spread out, but then raises her right hand and begins pulling the dead roaches out of her hair, until she sticks out her right hand to show the handful of six roaches, and then eats them one by one like a bunch of M&M’s. The next handful she grabs, she smushes them on her right cheek, wiping the trails of their bodies across her face and then licking up the remnants. She pulls a worm off her forehead and it begins to swirl around. She lets it through one of the holes in her skirt to crawl up her urethra, with her mouth wide open in shock and pleasure at what she’d just done. For her finale, she unwraps the snake from her arms and allows it to hang around her neck for a bit, before bringing it up to her face and allowing it to lick her. She returns the favor by deep-throating its’ head before pulling it back out, still bobbing its’ head.
[CATHETERINA | asiaoharasdragrace]: I’m Catheterina Dick, named after the hopes that my outfits will make you cringe harder than my drag name and like I tell all my male suitors, I’m 18. I’m from Louisiana. Considering no one would recognize the name of my actual town, I’ll just go with New Orleans. It’s like my home away from home because there’s smelly homeless people everywhere so I fit right in. If I had to describe my drag in 3 words, mental illness manifestation. Kidding, sort of, but really I’d say campy, grungy, and trashy. I signed up for this because I need the online validation I don’t get in real life. Jk, but in all honesty I’ve been following these interactive seasons for a while, and Dragula allows you more freedom to be crazy and nasty and shocking, so I figured this was my opportunity to take the nightmares I’ve been having as long as I can remember and bring them to life- on Reddit. I easily resemble filth the most. I’m literally down for anything. This look only scratched the surface of how gross I am. I will drink piss and swallow whole live frogs and chop off toes if that gets me the Reddit Dragula crown. Hell, I’ll still do it anyways.
“Ew, that one sounded gross. Let me guess, there was another one?”
As the exposed queens disappear, the continuation of the sound of footsteps occurs, getting closer and closer, the camera occasionally flickering off and on.
Sue stepped out into the light with a pure air of elegance, embodying the jazz singers of days gone. When she looked in the lense you felt the whiff of whisky and regret hit you. When she twirled and the slit came up on that velvet gown it was as if she was sex herself. Candid, yet with ulterior motives behind it. She pulled a stiff cigar from her bodice, but rather than putting it to her mouth she put it to her neck, seemingly inhaled and then released the fumes through her mouth. The years of sin in the city and vice had made physical differences to her body. Rather than letting it be a catalyst for improvement she simply used it to show how little she cared. Her arm began to jitter, and she ripped off her glove revealing an IV bag of yellow liquid attached to her arm. Her hand began to contort into an assortment of glamorous poses, showing it to be in her nature to keep it beautiful. She pulled out a bottle of red wine from under her dress titled “Jesus juice, tastes like the end of the road”. She yanked out the cork and began drowning her arm in the juice, attempting to get it into where the IV had rested. She needed into her bloodstream, and the way she shook the bottle to get the liquid in was near visceral. Exhausted from the ordeal she fell to the ground, pulling her glove back up above her elbow in an attempt to be seductive, before giving up on this wish (as she likely did with many others in her life), and dragged her makeup while grabbing the cross laden below the throat cavity and saying some short prayers
[SUE PERB | HashtagDeathSplat]: I am Sue Perb, short for Susan Perb and longer for Susanne Perb, I am from The United Kingdom and I’m whatever age you want me to be. Sue is unexpected, polished and pristine. She serves you glamour with a twist. She’ll give you always a simple silhouette but always with a trick up her sleeve. It’s always polished and neat before it all inevitably goes to shit when she destroys the floor. I always try to embody a glamour and a beauty in what I do, and I use that as my way to present the other aspects. I signed up to Dragula to win a motherfucking crown and do something creative with my vacation.
“I mean, they weren’t all females. There was one that appeared quite masculine too.”
“Not a straight right?”
“I don’t know.”
Another daunting silhouette can be seen, as the light flickers Sue disappears from view, whilst the unknown person walks towards the lens.
The king emerged from the darkness of the room, a flash of light coming from the miners helmet he is wearing. Cobwebs cling to the yellow helmet as the dim headlamp flickers. His face is sunken in, the makeup creating deep dark circles under his eyes and sharp, jutting edges of his face. His chin has a smattering amount of dark brown stubble, which is contrasted by his intensely thick brown eyebrows. His face is an ashen gray color with short dirty blonde hair sweeping down to partially shade his eyes, which are blue. His overalls are a dark faded green color, they cling to his body, revealing a thin, wiry frame, and they are covered in dust and cobwebs. He is bare chested underneath the overalls, with the rest of his body painted similar to his face: gray and skeletal. There is a huge tear in the side of his overalls, caused by a large chunk of rock embedded into his side, with blood seeping through at a slow rate. His heavy, black combat boots drag and kick up dust as he shuffles forward deliberately, clutching a spray-painted gray sunflower close to his chest.
[INDIGO CHILD | cloudess15]: Hey, I’m Indigo Child, also known as cloudess15, and I’m 26, which means I’m past my biological prime and my cells are slowly dying. I’m a punk ghoul from the Twin Cities and my drag can best be described as undead, cynical, and comical. I definitely represent horror the best because there is nothing more terrifying than a butch who knows how to do makeup. I decided to do this competition to further develop my drag aesthetic. Let the Purple Reign begin!
The office scene returns, where Fantasia can be seen frowning at the girl whilst she describes what she saw.
“Portia, girl, come on. Please don’t tell me you’re having a relapse from your drug look on the Coachella challenge.”
Suddenly the woman, now known as Portia, snaps out of her depressing mood, turning red as she watches Fantasia rub her head in disappointment.
“It’s not my fault. It got me the win, so why wouldn’t I try again for the finale?”
“Just continue, tell me the others.”
It snaps back to the dark room.
A very tall and very pale figure steps into the doorway. In the half light, all that is visible is the soaring swoop of a skyscraper pompadour, and the glowing ash of a lit cigarette. She exhales the smoke in a perfect circle and steps forward. Razor sharp cheekbones adorned with metallic silver contour draw your attention up to golden brown eyes framed with lengthy spiked lashes. There is a sparkling viscous substance smudged around the eye and delicately spilling down her cheeks. How much of it is silicone glitter versus actual blood is anybody's guess. Her nails are certainly long enough to have scratched somebody's eyes out. Her fur bomber coat is as blood red as her hair, but the artfully slashed sequined chiffon strands underneath it could only be called a shirt by the blind or the generous. The only thing keeping the top half of the outfit from disintegrating is an elaborately woven double wide obi style belt made from sex shop cock rings and bits of old denim. Silver latex high waisted leggings hug a booty that tests the limits of the concept of 4 way stretch, and the surprisingly long and slender legs that carry it are encased in a red latex thigh high boot that matches the hair and the coat. She takes the last drag of her cigarette (stained with remnants of lacquered red lipstick), and crushes it under her stiletto heel in a manner that borders on niche pornography.
[ANGIE APATHY | msmonochrome]: Hello uglies! I'm Angie Apathy, old enough to know better, but young enough to still do it anyway. I'm born and bred in New York City, a place so dirty that my last subway ride was probably filthier that all of last season's runways put together. If I had to describe my drag in 3 words, they would be grungy grindhouse sexbot. I can switch from Fellini to Fulci at the drop of a hat, and bring a Dragula style celluloid cocktail of glamour and horror to the competition, with a dash of kink fueled filth thrown in. As a new face, these other girls might not give me much credit. That's fine, as I prefer to get the cash up front. Why Dragula Season 3? Apathy is nothing more than a fancy word for having not a single fuck left to give, and I am here to snatch the crown away from the tired masses of H.P Lovecraft fanfic and queens who still think blood capsule residue dribbling down their chin with some butcher shop entrails is super spooky.
The faulty light bulb flickers once again, Angie fading from view, replaced by one more dark silhouette that falters in the distance, stumbling towards the ambience of light.
A diadem of black tendrils sat proudly upon her grey skin. The cords intertwined themselves in a complicated manner, tying into thick webs that formed a netting. Only two of the crown's cords were not fitting in this order, instead, hanging loosely upon each side of her face. Her skin was grey, the shadows battling each other upon her visage. Her lips were basked in a deep plum color, with a single drop of blood staining them. Her cheekbones were high, strangely and disgustingly high. Erathelle stares down with her white contact lenses. There was only white in her pupils, the tones of violet and grey that danced around her eyelids being the only drop of color present. Where her eyebrows should have been, another pair of eyes were drawn. They were angular, thin, sharp, staring directly at the camera. Her gown went up to her neck. The lace of it was black, delicate, and torn into several spots, leaving her skin exposed around the shoulders and collarbones. Her abdomen resembled an insectoid carapace, having a series of blunt spine-like structures erupting around her stomach and down to her hips, where the dress falls down into a mermaid cut that hugged her legs tightly, spinning about as she walked. There were long threads of linen that hanged from her hands and diadem, swathing in the wind as she walked. Erathelle brought up a single finger to her lips. Pressing hardly upon her skin with her dark, fake nail, she would cut down in a single swipe as a thin droplet of blood crashed down upon her chin. The goddess Arachne had been dormant for too long - and now, she grows hungry.
[ERATHELLE | cuntaliefondant]: My drag name is Erathelle, but you can call me Era for short. It comes from my religious name. I am a Wiccan priest, and I go by "Erastis". So I took "Era", and added "thelle", because I love French sounding shit and there you have it. I am eighteen years of age. Fresh out the womb, right? I’m from Romania, where all the vampires and gypsies come from. Hide your drag from me, I'm gonna steal it. My drag in three words would be blasphemous, obscene, foul. A girl after your own heart. I think I embody horror the most. I think my purpose as a monster is to defile, and I really can't put it in better words. Everything I touch turns into a horrifying, ugly, repulsive mess.
Fading back to the scene in which Portia and Fantasia sat opposing one another, they both pause for a second and think.
“So, you’ve basically cast S3 for me through a drug trip?” Fantasia quieries her, confused but also thankful at the same time.
“Well, if you want them monsters on the cast then yeah, I guess so. What about the other 6?”
“I’ll go to wherever you imagined, you must’ve been there in the past anyway and find the others. Thanks, you’ve finally been useful for once.” She pats Portia on the back as she rises, heading to the door. “Write that damn finale submission already too, whore.”
She hurries out of the police station, in disgust with the toxic fumes that arose from the severe amounts of men smoking cigarettes, coughing as she regains balance on the slippery steps and gets back into her car. Pulling out a raggedy map from the cabinet, she opens it up and looks down at where she’s meant to be driving.
“I don’t even know how to work maps.”
She scans her finger over certain circled locations, such as one labelled ‘ancient chapel’, even one in Mexico, sighing.
“I’ll just go north.”
Fantasia presses down onto the acceleration pedal, switching on the radio and Euthanasias rap begins to play as the car storms off into the distance, disappearing from view.
[END]
Yet again, I apologise for the quality of the episode. Episode one will make up for it, and just a thank you to each queen in this part and the upcoming one for doing so well and actually making this worth reading.

Palace Analysis and Discussion/Tier list

I apologize for the length of this post in advance.
TLDR image of just the tier list if you don't want to read

S: Madarame’s Museum

Visual Design – 11/10

The visuals of this palace had me profusely nutting, especially this shot at the halfway point. The paintings and art in general allowed for the most visual diversity of any palace, but they all held a cohesive theme. The art museum being the prettiest palace sounds like a given, and the design team really delivered on it.

Gameplay – 11/10

Diving under and jumping over lasers made this feel like an actual heist where you had to dodge security and stay hidden. The puzzles weren’t difficult, but difficulty shouldn’t be an issue on only the second dungeon of the game. What they did do, however, was really emphasize and mesh with the idea of distorting reality. Jumping into paintings and moving from one to the next with no real discernable dimensional physics and the M.C. Escher-like staircases and portals towards the end reinforce the idea that this isn’t the real world, and the rules that govern it don’t apply.

Music – 9/10

The entirety of P5’s soundtrack is amazing, and this song is no exception. The combination of traditional instruments with the heavy, steady drum beat marching you along through the halls of the museum create an ambience that is simultaneously relaxed and filled with tension. You can chill out, but you know you need to keep moving.

Boss Fight/Ruler – 10/10

The final battle of the museum was the first time I truly felt challenged by the game; I lost this fight about three or four times before I finally did it right. The puzzle of figuring out which parts had immunity to which types of damage and strategically figuring out when you could afford to let one of the parts heal from your aoe skills as well as dealing with the fact that one part can revive the others all coalesced into a challenging, but rewarding conclusion to an already solid palace. Madarame himself also serves as a nice transition from Bully Teacher treating students at one school like shit to villains whose influence have a larger sense of scale. Madarame doesn’t control the whole world, but his reputation in the art community was nothing to scoff at. It also felt nice to see him grovel once he had finally been defeated.

Overall Score – 41/40

A perfect level 2 from a gameplay perspective, visually stunning, and narratively thematic. Amazing palace.

A: Mementos Depths

Visual Design – 10/10

Personally, I’m a fan of the eldritch aura this palace had. It felt like true evil, and the branching-veins-all-connected-to-a-central-heart motif is one I really appreciate. Shots like this and this give you a sense of scale of just how deep this rabbit hole goes, have amazing color and contrast, and the arterial tendrils wrapping around everything look sick and feel menacing.

Gameplay – 7/10

Simply put, there wasn’t a lot to do in this palace; but that’s okay. You had to crawl through Mementos proper just to get here, and it simply serves as the calm before the storm that is the final boss. The floor tile puzzles were still fun to do, and some of the fights were tough, but this was intended to be more of a mini-dungeon than a proper palace in my opinion. However, it was made a little easy given that there was a free full restore waiting at the start every time you made it to a saferoom.

Music – 11/10

Freedom and Security is my favorite track on the entire Persona 5 OST. It’s desolate, but has a slightly triumphant undertone: “you’ve made it this far, but look where you’ve ended up.” The lead guitar stands out and elevates the mood but also harmonizes with the violins providing the rhythm, and the periodic bang from the heavy drum goes straight to my bones.

Boss Fight/Ruler – 10/10

It’s God. You kill God. “YOU HAVE NO MEANS OF ESCAPE, HUMANS” and all that. Nothing but a badass fight that tests your knowledge of the game.

Overall Score – 38/40

It appeals to my personal fancy in more ways than one, and I really enjoyed this dungeon.

A-: Sae Niijima’s Casino

Visual Design – 9/10

Between its pretty lights and colorful halls, this was another solid palace design. It didn’t particularly feel unreal or distorted outside of the whole “everything that’s not the Casino is totally normal” thing though.

Gameplay – 8.5/10

This palace was fun and the minigames offered a neat change of pace, but “pretty good” is about the best I can offer for how I felt playing this palace. Akechi kinda asspulls two separate times for the sake of moving the plot along – which from a story perspective shows how smart, cunning, and forward-thinking he is – but from the standpoint of the player it feels kinda bad for a challenge to be presented only for someone to step in and go “nevermind lol sorry I planned for this.” It feels especially bad the second time. The solo-Joker boss gauntlet was my favorite part though.

Music – 8.5/10

On its own, this song is a 10/10. It’s another solid entry on the OST, but I don’t think it’s necessarily a good song for a dungeon. It’s too nonchalant and jazzy, and doesn’t offer the kind of tension you’d expect from what was supposed to be the Phantom Thieves’s last hurrah at the time. It fits thematically for the palace, and is good on its own, but on a greater scale in terms of the story it doesn’t evoke the right emotion in my opinion.

Boss Fight/Ruler – 9.5/10

I’ll admit, Sae was nowhere near my favorite character at this point, but that’s not a bad thing. A character doesn’t have to be likeable to be good. The purpose she served in the plot and the person she becomes after she changes her own heart – rather than it being forcefully changed – redeemed her. But up until this point, she’s been nothing but a workaholic that will cheat every which way in order to win. I don’t think cheating a cheater is fun, and the game doesn’t make you. You beat her at her own game entirely fairly with no rigged odds, and it’s very satisfying. After you expose her cheats, it becomes a war of attrition with no gimmick; it’s thematic, but does get a little grindy from the gameplay side of things.

Overall Score – 35.5(+1)/40

I’m giving this palace a bonus point because even though there were some aspects I had qualms with, I feel like it was greater than the sum of its parts.

B: Futaba’s Tomb

Visual Design – 9/10

I liked the meshing of ancient pyramid ruins with digital code and electronic rune patterns. The room beyond the locked door at the end of the main hall is spacious and bigger on the inside than it seems on the outside, which you could argue represents how Futaba feels about her room.

Gameplay – 8.5/10

Fun puzzles and good fights. The chase sequence in the town at the start wasn’t particularly stimulating and was over as soon as it started, and I wish that town had been expanded upon in general. The inside of the pyramid was good though.

Music – 8/10

This song fits thematically, but after the second or third loop it starts to drone on, but that makes sense considering it’s an ancient tomb – everything should feel dead and lifeless with a slight desert theme – and this song captures that feeling well. On its own though, it’s not one you’re going to put on repeat (or at least I’m not compelled to).

Boss Fight/Ruler – 9/10

These two should really be split up for this palace, since the fight is pretty unrelated to the ruler themselves. Futaba is a cute anxious girl with mental illnesses and a protecc score of over 9000. She’s great and I love her. The fight, on the other hand, was rather anticlimactic, since it was just a scripted loss until Futaba decides to awaken her persona, and then you just spam Mediarama until you can shoot the harpoon a few times and then wail on her until she dies; cyclical and repetitive gameplay. However, defeating an imaginary demon that haunts Futaba within herself is the whole point of this palace, so the fight still fits thematically.

Overall Score – 34.5/40

Really good palace. No real problems, just some small things that could be improved.

B-: The Okumura Foods Space Station Factory

Visual Design – 8/10

Space stations are neat and fit the industrial feel of a corporate factory; everything is bland and metal and unremarkable on its own, which means they hit the nail on the head. Space itself is also cool, so I’m showing my bias pretty strongly on this one.

Gameplay – 8/10

This will probably the opinion that catches the most contention, but I don’t think this palace was boring or unfun or a slog at all. It felt paced just fine, and the shuttle-hopping puzzle at the end was neat, if a little boring and susceptible to eventual trial-and-error that I’m sure we all resorted to. I thought it was solid.

Music – 8.5/10

I really like the way this track starts out, it’s high-energy and evokes anxiety and the need to keep moving; it also has that techno feel to it to match the space station visual theme. The problem is that it has effectively an entire minute of downtime where it loops the same quiet bassline over and over again with no variation or break. If only they had kept the same mood it has from the start.

Boss Fight/Ruler – 8.5/10

Okumura represents pure corporate evil and greed. He treats his employees like machines meant to do one thing: make him more money. In the fight, he hides behind numerous ranks of lackeys, and then once he runs out, he’s a total pushover. He’s nothing without his employees, and they’re the ones who do all the actual work; he just sits on his ass and barks out orders. I’m glad we got to put him in his place.

Overall Score – 33/40

A solid palace, not bad at all. I could understand why people would overlook or underrate it though, it doesn’t do anything particularly special despite taking place about 65-70% of the way through the game.

C+: Kamoshida’s Castle

Visual Design – 8.5/10

Both portions of the castle look cool. The first half is filled with grand rooms and stained glass and labyrinthine hallways all crawling with guards. Even the dungeons from the prologue bit looked cool with their running water and cells. The tower looks even cooler, and really shows the player how the distortion can spatially affect the palace. I liked how the floor would warp and change as you walked over it a lot.

Gameplay – 7/10

There aren’t really any puzzles and not much else to do other than go from point A to point B, but that’s fine since it’s the first palace and the player already has a lot thrust in front of them. Just exploring the castle and fighting baddies is fine and dandy for now.

Music – 8/10

The music for this palace was good. It’s shady and a little uneasy, and feels like nice thief background music. The right mix of fun and mystery.

Boss Fight/Ruler – 7.5/10

This boss fight was nothing special either but again, it shouldn’t have to be. Just being able to finally take down the asshole that’s been hogging up a ton of screen time with his assholery is catharsis enough.

Overall Score – 31/40

A great introduction to the game that leaves room to be built and expanded upon. Also, fuck that guy.

C: Kaneshiro Bank of Japan

Visual Design – 7/10

The interior design itself was rather bland and uninteresting until you made it to the vault, but that part looked pretty cool. Bonus points for being on a UFO though.

Gameplay – 7/10

Nothing special going on, just move from room to room killing enemies until you make it to the end. The puzzles/camera dodging didn’t feel particularly stimulating or challenging.

Music – 7.5/10

The track that plays for the first half is alright, but I don’t think it particularly fits the overall theme of the palace. Granted, I’m not sure what a bank really should sound like. I like the version that it switches to once you make it to the vault. It’s more bank-heisty in my opinion and I like the bass guitar. Still though, neither track is topping my list anytime soon.

Boss Fight/Ruler – 6.5/10

Kaneshiro is just a forgettable generic mafia boss obsessed with money. Nothing unique or interesting about him. The fight is alright, and the big-ultra-chargeup-oneshotyou attack catches you by surprise the first time around if nothing else.

Overall Score – 28/40

Most forgettable and average palace to me, which sucks because it’s the one where you get best girl as a party member. If not for that, I probably would have been really bored when I was actually playing.

D: Shido’s Ship

Visual Design – whateve10

It’s a cruise ship and the city is flooded. Yeehaw.

Gameplay – ratpuzzle/10

This palace had about one and a half too many rat puzzle hallways and it just kept going on and on. It’s not even particularly hard to not get caught if you’re just patient. Not only that, the rest of the palace is just a miniboss gauntlet, and none of the fights are interesting because they’re just buffed-up versions of normal shadows’ personas.

Music – voteforme/10

Couldn’t hear the music over the speech lol. It’s a persona song, so of course it’s good, but it’s not particularly standout. It does give a cruise ship vibe though.

Boss Fight/Ruler – ohgodhowmanymoreformsdoeshehave/10

It’s just an elongated boring fight against a strong enemy with multiple phases. I kept thinking “okay so when is it actually going to get hard or interesting?” That point never came. Even during his final phase I just kept thinking “oh yay time for another form switch maybe he’ll actually do something cool now” and then the victory screen displayed. The only redeemable part about this fight is Rivers in the Desert playing in the background, and it sullies that song’s name because it’s nowhere near as epic as it should be to deserve being accompanied by it.

Overall Score – yikes/10

I would have been really soured on the whole experience if this was the true final palace like they had made it out to be, so I’m glad it didn’t actually turn out to be that way. It’s just a slog you have to grind through.

[SPOILERS ALL] Thoughts on ME3/The OT after my most recent playthrough...

WARNING: Extremely Long Post.
Hello all! I just recently wrapped up a playthrough of the OT and though I’d share some thoughts. It’s the first time I’d played through in maybe 3-4 years so while I remembered a lot of it, a lot of it seemed fresh. I did a post earlier about Mass Effect 1 and 2, so I’ll focus mostly on ME3 in this writeup, with some stuff that applies to the whole trilogy (of course).
Playstyle

I played a canon playthrough (i.e. not trying to “game” the reputation bars to get max, just choosing whatever I thought my Shep would do). I went almost full Paragon in the first game (Spacer background, basically the model of a modern major general). My Shep then got fed up with Council politics and made a Renegade turn at the very end, during the Battle of the Citadel, allowing the Council to die, and then punting on the decision for a new ambassador.
Then, ME2, after dying, coming back, and finding out the Council was still ignoring the Reapers, he lost patience altogether. Did probably an 80-20 Renegade-Paragon runthrough. Obviously due to ME2’s rigid reputation requirements, there were quite a few less-than-ideal decisions I had to make. My RenShep chose to give Veetor to Cerberus, and to not tell Kal’Reegar to hang back, which led to his death. This, combined with a too-low reputation score, led to seeing Tali get exiled from her people. This, oddly, was my canon moment of turning my Renegade Shepard towards a more balanced version; he saw Tali get screwed by her own people, and yet still want to protect them. Shepard started to realize that his people were with the Alliance. He slowly turned against TIM, at the end refusing to give him the Collector Base data.
I played ME3 as a Paragade – probably 65-35 Paragon-Renegade. He still doesn’t have time for bullshit – especially in the middle of a Reaper invasion – but he also recognizes that it’s not only the things we accomplish, but how we accomplish them, that matter.
Class-wise, went Soldier (focus on sniping) in ME1. Then, I figured Cerberus rebuilt me with some powerful biotics, so went Adept in 2 and 3. In 3, I played a Sniper-Biotic, which isn't a particularly synergistic mechanical build but made sense in my mind canonically.

Decisions

Cured the Genophage/Mordin died/Eva lived/Wrex leads the Krogan
Chose Geth over Quarians (didn’t have enough of the prerequisite points since Tali got exiled and I rewrote the Heretics). Tali killed herself.
Chose Javik first in the Javik-Liara spat, then sided with Liara.
Didn’t allow Aria to kill the General. Didn’t get to kiss Aria. 
Paragon’d out of Samara committing suicide.
Made the shot with Garrus. (In my headcanon, my Shep is the best sniper in the Alliance).
Told Liara to be honest about me in the time capsule.
Told Blasto he was a big stupid jellyfish during Citadel.
Beat Jacob at fighting during Citadel.
Renegade-distracted Traynor’s opponent during Citadel.
Lied for Grunt during Citadel. (heh heh heh).

Romance
Romanced Liara in ME1, Miranda in ME2, and then Miranda again in ME3. I was unsure of who I would romance in 3 so I kept things flirty with Liara, but after running into Miranda again on the Citadel, I knew what I had to do. Led to a nice little passive-aggressive jab from Liara once I “locked in” with Miranda.
Overall, while I was warned that the non-squad romances suffered lack of screentime, I was content with the Miranda romance. It made sense; the thing I love about Miranda is that she’s her own woman, she deals with her own shit, and she has a perfect understanding of the position Shepard is in (i.e. she’s not going to beg him to come solve some family shit while he’s saving the galaxy). This game was a perfect representation of that, and so I felt it made a lot of sense. And we got to see Miranda more than, say, Jacob.
Contrast this with Suvi in ME:A, who had less content than Miranda in ME3, but she was literally by your side the entire time in the ship. Made the relationship feel really thin, especially because Andromeda’s playtime was much longer than ME3.
DLC
This was the first time I’d done a playthrough with any of the DLC. Overall, I thought it was all very strong.

From Ashes: The mission itself was nothing to write home about, but Javik is a GOAT squaddie. He adds so much to the game that I can’t believe I played it without him. They wrote a ton of Javik-specific dialogue in scenes that could have easily not been in there (thinking Thessia). I definitely see why people were pissed he was day-one DLC; he was very obviously written as part of the game.
Leviathan: Very much enjoyed this. The whole mission gave me Mass Effect 1 vibes. “The darkness cannot be breached” had some serious Sovereign “Rudimentary creatures of flesh and bone” overtones. I liked the underwater aspect, which was something we hadn’t seen before in Mass Effect. I didn’t like how the lore here interacted with the lore of the Starchild/Catalyst, though.
Omega: I liked this mission a lot. Having Aria as a squadmate was killer (literally). I loved the Nyreen character and wished they hadn’t killed her off in such a lame way; and in a way that didn’t seem to affect Aria much. I stopped Aria from killing the general and told her I wanted to keep her guessing as to what I thought of her; hence, no Aria kiss. Sort of wish Omega would have become a place I could visit afterwards.
Citadel (mission): I’m going to be maybe a little controversial and say I didn’t enjoy the mission parts of this DLC. The enemies were incredibly hard to kill – I played on Hardcore, but I had literally every one of my skills maxed out except Pull (which I never used). And it took 2+ biotic explosions to kill enemies, not to mention their annoying-ass drones. The pistol was OP and I get that was the point, but I kept running out of ammo. Also, I HATED the Guardian equivalents, which were Armor instead of Health, meaning Singularity did nothing. Also, you want to bitch about Kai Leng’s plot armor? How about Clone Shepard and Brooks? I mean seriously? Every time I get him down to half-armor, his shields magically reappeared? At least with Leng they had the decency to put in a “recharge period.” I killed the clone, BTW, because fuck that guy. I did really like the squad banter and the fact that everyone came along, and I legit fist-pumped when Wrex showed up.
Citadel (party): Now this, I loved. I even liked Shepard and Jacob’s interactions. Got more time with Miranda, went out to the casino with her, spent the night with her at the party. All the squadmate banter was awesome. “Shepard.” “Grunt.” “Shepard!” “Wrex.” “Sheeeeeepard.” “Grunt.” “Shepard Shepard Shepard.” “Wrex.” My favorites were definitely the Traynor game with the completely unnecessary but incredible Western-shootout-style quick-zooms, and the Grunt part. “I love you, Grunt.” “Heh. Heh. Heh.” The laugh SEALED it. ALSO. MORDIN SLEPT WITH FUCKING ARIA T’LOAK, WHICH WE LEARN ABOUT IN A SELF-PERFORMED NOIR RADIOPLAY. Incredible. Everything about this part of the DLC was fantastic.

Squad/Crew
Javik is GOAT, Garrus is GOAT. Liara is Liara. I like her a lot, but the game really forces her on you which I found annoying for the first time. EDI is fine and presents interesting philosophical ideas. James is boring. I enjoyed having Kaidan back but I would have liked it more if they hadn’t gone so over the top emotional, especially with the music. They make it seem like it was your best bud/possible lover, when really to my Shep he was an old squaddie who he got along with. Tali was only around for a few missions before…well…I don’t wanna talk about it.
Cortez was fine, I like his vibe, and he and James’ relationship made that character bearable. Joker is Joker. I really liked Traynor. They did a lot with her character in one game. I might romance her on my upcoming FemShep run. Engineering crew is solid as always, though Kenneth is creepy AF. And of course I had to stick with my old pal Dr. Chakwas.
I wish we’d had the option to bring in Legion as a squadmate for a mission or two. Overall it would’ve been cool to have squaddies be playable during certain missions a la Aria in Omega. Have Miranda on Horizon, Wrex on Tuchanka, Legion in the Geth dreadnaught, etc.
Definitely sad when Mordin and Thane died. I enjoyed Samara at the party. I didn’t have either of the two ME2 DLC squadmates (Kasumi or Zaeed).
Highlight Missions/Arcs

Thessia: I actually think this might be my favorite mission. I know, I know, Kai Leng plot armor. But I thought it was a little less egregious here; he had a fucking gunship backing him up, as opposed to at the Citadel, where he was just hanging out and Shepard missed every time. I think I loved it even more because I brought Javik and Liara along. The interplay between them was fascinating, and it was awesome to see their reactions to the Prothean beacon reveal. The mission was fun, too. In their spat afterwards, I sided with Javik first, but then I realized just how much it was killing Liara, so I told him to back down, which he did.
Tuchanka: Fun mission. The Thresher Maw was epic. Liked working with Wrex and Mordin again. Honestly I didn’t like it as much as Rannoch or Thessia, though, or even Horizon.
Rannoch: I took an entire week break before playing the Rannoch arc because I KNEW I didn’t have enough points to make peace between them. And I KNEW that my Shepard thought the Quarians were stupid and reckless for starting this war in the middle of a Reaper invasion. But I also knew that Tali would kill herself if I chose Geth. So I avoided until I couldn’t anymore, powered through, and chose Geth. Legion and Tali both died. My favorite moment was in the mainframe: “Legion, that looks like the same sniper rifle you use.” (pregnant pause) “It is an efficient model.” Just that small moment made me really believe Legion had emotions, was truly becoming sentient. My Shep lost a lot on Rannoch, and the choice I made there made my pre-conceived idea of a “destroy” ending a whole hell of a lot more complicated.
Horizon: I romanced Miranda, so that might’ve played into it, but I liked the vibe of the place. I liked that Cerberus was fighting the Reapers – there’s stuff going on we’re not directly involved in – and finding out just how deep Cerberus had gone into indoctrination. And Miranda killing her dad was such a perfect character moment for her.

Gameplay/Multiplayer
By far the strongest of the trilogy, and I would even put it above Andromeda. It’s fun, it’s fast, it can be tactical if you want it to be. A perfect combo of simplicity of choice and customizability of weapons and powers. They really nailed it.
Multiplayer is so much fun. I keep wanting to try new classes but just go back to Human Engineer. Combat Drone and Geth Plasma Shotgun all day every day.
The Ending
Here’s a confession: I do not, and have not, ever hated ME3’s ending, even before Extended Cut. I thought it made perfect sense that the cost of defeating the Reapers would be astronomical. People say it nullifies all of your decisions; I think it’s a study in how, in all our lives, some of the decisions we make are far more important and far-reaching than others. And in how sometimes we are faced with impossible choices that need to be made anyway.
I was incredibly torn about the ending. Previously I’d always chosen Destroy or Synthesis, but this time I had to really think about what my Shep would do. It was an almost impossible choice.

Destroy would mean the Quarians and Legion died for nothing, and that EDI, who I had told was a sentient being like all of us, would die. OTOH, the whole mission had been to destroy the Reapers, and it was the only way to guarantee they’d be gone for good.
Control meant becoming a part of the machine; I saw what that’d done to TIM and it gave me a lot of pause. OTOH, I had rewritten the Geth Heretics, and the Reaper code they’d gotten helped the Geth achieve sentience, so that proved that Reaper tech (under the right conditions) could be made useful. Plus, with the Leviathan DLC I knew they were created by organics and, like Geth, could be controlled.
Synthesis seemed attractive, but also seemed like way too big of a choice to make for every race in the galaxy. I’d seen the dangers of Synthesis through Saren; would it truly be as utopian as this Starchild was making it out to be? Or is it another form of indoctrination?
Finally, Refuse. I actually strongly considered this. It would mean that this cycle would be wiped out, of course; but with the information stored by Liara in the capsule, perhaps a future race would get a big jumpstart, and be able to defeat the Reapers through conventional means without having to trust a strange space entity’s three predetermined choices. After a bit, though, I decided that was as much, if not more, of a big decision than Synthesis.

So I was left with two options: Destroy and Control. Essentially, this left me with the exact two options I was left with during Legion’s loyalty mission at the end of ME2: Rewrite (control) or Destroy (destroy).
Even though I’d been thinking about it since I started the trilogy playthrough, I still sat there for a good 5 minutes contemplating. I even literally walked back and forth between the two. Eventually, though, I chose Destroy.
My thinking was this: essentially, I think Control would work out great for a while. The problem is, I understood where this Catalyst AI was coming from, to an extent. It had its own internal logic that was separated from the values of organics; it considered living on through Reapers to be just as valid as being allowed to live, period.
My Shep eventually decided that, if he could already understand – completely disagree with, mind you, but understand – the logic of the machines, how long would it take for him to come around to it? After all, in my playthrough, the Geth wiped out the Quarians. So the Catalyst was right in that sense, to my Shepard. (Of course there’s the issue of EDI, but still).
If Shepard, as the Catalyst says, loses himself in a sense – how long until all of him is lost?
It was a tough decision. Possibly Control could work out perfectly, the Geth and EDI are saved, the Reapers help to rebuild the galaxy. But something about it made me think the cycle would just repeat; maybe not in 50,000 years, but perhaps 50,000 years after that.
So I made the choice to end the cycle for good. This meant that EDI, who had just told me I was the reason she felt alive, would die; it also meant the Geth, who Legion had sacrificed himself for and who I had chosen to live over the Quarians, would die. This is the most depressing possible resolution of the Rannoch arc, and not one I would like to repeat ever again.
On the plus side, I had like 5400 EMS, so I got the “Shepard breathes” ending. Hooray, Shepard and Miranda get to be perfect physical specimens together! And the Catalyst did say things could be rebuilt; perhaps there’s a hope that there’s an EDI backup somewhere, or the Geth collective isn’t completely gone. That’s the hope I’ll hold on to at least.
Misc Thoughts

I wish Cerberus played a smaller role in this game. I did have a thought – like, half the stuff Cerberus did could have been done by the Collectors. It would make sense (Cerberus is half as strong, which would fit instead of having them being a galactic force; and the Collectors wouldn’t be super powerful, since we destroyed their base).
I know everyone hates Kai Leng. And yes, I absolutely hate him too. But from my POV, his detrimental presence in the game is greatly overstated. He really gets barely any screentime in the grand scheme of things. He shows up next to TIM, without a line, on Mars; then when Cerberus takes the Citadel; then on Thessia; and then the final battle. I would wager Miranda gets more screentime than Kai Leng, depending on how long the battles took. He’s annoying, and the plot armor aspect sucks, but I didn’t feel like the ENTIRE GAME was ruined by him.
HOLY SHIT THE SOUND DESIGN WAS BAD. Just…OMG. So bad. Barely registered any gunshots; the music overpowered any SFX; the explosions were like, unhearable. I never recognize good sound design until I hear bad sound design. The sound design in Star Wars: Battlefront (the new one), for example, is incredible; in ME3, it was bad. (I do like the Biotic Explosion sound though).
I’ve seen some people complain about the conversation wheel being a little light. I thought it was perfect. This isn’t a worldbuilding game like ME1. Shepard has to be efficient with what he asks – the galaxy is on the line. Plus, I can go into the Codex if I want exposition. And while the dialogue wheel went light, I felt I actually got more lines from my squad and crew than in previous. They had something new to say after almost every mission, as opposed to ME2 where Garrus was always calibrating.
I also loved how they moved the crew around the ship. It made it feel more like a living space, and like the crew wasn’t just there all separately with Shepard, but were actually a crew. This is one thing I thought that Andromeda did very well off the bat.
Again, the party section of the Citadel DLC…just incredible. So much character work. So many in-jokes. So. Much. Fun.

Overall
Overall, I think ME3 is my favorite of the trilogy. ME2 has better story and characters – by a little – and ME1 has a great ambience/feel, but the epic arcs of ME3, as well as the awesome gameplay and character interactions (especially in Citadel) put it over the top for me. This is even before considering Multiplayer, which I will most likely continue to play after my playthrough is done.
I was planning on trying FFXV next, or even picking up Andromeda for a NG+, but I’ve already started a Renegade FemShep ME1 run. Damn you OT…I just can’t quit you.

Happening in Indiana: July 3rd - 9th

Indiana's got a full slate of events for you all to enjoy this week thanks to the Fourth of July holiday, so get out there and blow shit up! Also, Indianapolis has begun their own Happenings Thread, so if you live in that region then check them out as well.
All my information comes from VisitIndiana so the list is not 100% comprehensive. If you know of anything that's missing, please post and share with everyone! If you've ever been to any of these events, or if you go this week, please share your experiences
This Week Only
Northwest Indiana

Beverly Shores

Garden and Art Walk: 11AM-3PM July 8th at the Town of Beverly Shores. Association of Beverly Shores residents and ERG will co-sponsor the annual Garden and Art Walk. Explore several different gardens, including a fairy garden, and observe on-site plain air painters (painting outside). The painters' art will also be displayed at The Depot. Again this year, your Garden and Art Walk ticket may be entered into a raffle for an original 16" x 20" acrylic painting by Susie Nichols.

Cedar Lake

Cedar Lake Summerfest: June 30th - July 4th at Cedar Lake Town Complex. Enjoy activites for all ages on the shore of Cedar Lake when the town complex transforms into 18 acres of fun featuring: Live Entertainment, Fireworks, Midway Games, Amusement Rides, Bingo Tent, Beer Garden, Boat Parade, R C Racing, New free Car Show ... and much more! Don't forget the food! Elephant Ears, Funnel Cakes, Corn Dogs, Steak Dinners, Pancake & Sausage Breakfast, and over a dozen other tasty treats! Merchandise & Crafts

Gary

Fourth of Juluau Pig Roast: 7-11PM July 3rd at US Steel Yard, Gary Railcats. Don't miss an All-American Pig Roast featuring Indiana Pork with our first-ever 4th of Juluau Pig Roast presented by ! Make sure you're here early as Barefoot Hawaiian will be performing a traditional luau with fire dancers! Stick around after the game for a special Fireworks show!

Hammond

Venetian Night: 8AM-10PM July 8th at the Hammond Marina. Join us for a day of quality entertainment and events, as well as beautiful evening fireworks, at our annual Venetian Night on Saturday, July 8. Events get underway at 8:00 a.m. with the All Marina Bake Sale and conclude with a spectacular fireworks show on Lake Michigan at 10:00 p.m.

LaPorte

4th of July at the Hesston Steam Museum: 12-5Pm July 1st-4th at the Hesston Steam Museum. 4th of July weekend is America's holiday. Spend it with machines that built this great country and climb aboard all 3 of our steam powered railroads for a scenic ride through our woods.
LaPorte Jaycees 4th of July Parade and Fireworks: July 4th at Downtown LaPorte/LaPorte County Fairgrounds. The 71st Annual LaPorte Jaycee's 4th of July Parade starts at 10am. July 4th Fireworks at the fairgrounds will begin at dusk.
LaPorte County Fair: July 7th-15th at LaPorte County Fairgrounds. Join us for the 1272nd LaPorte County Fair featuring Big & Rich on July 12th and Granger Smith July 13th. Enjoy great music and entertainment, fantastic food, livestock, carnival, 4-H exhibits and Pioneer Land all week long.

Michigan City

Native American Heritage Day at Friendship Botanic Gardens: 12-4PM at Friendship Botanic Gardens. Visitors will have the chance to learn about Indigenous Peoples' traditional gardening, trapping, cooking and crafting techniques.

Munster

Independence Day Fireworks: 6-1130PM July 3rd at Centennial Park. Fireworks Show: 9:30 pm. Music: 7:30-11:00 pm Featuring "Together". Concessions and Beer Garden
4th of July Parade: Starting at 2PM. Begins at Fisher and Calumet, proceeds north to Ridge Road and East to Munster Town Hall.

Portage

Portage 4th of July Festival & Parade: 5-9PM July 4th at Willowcreek Middle School. Vendors will be set up around the football field. Live music will be played from 7-9pm, with fireworks beginning at dusk
Shirley Heinze Nature Photography Hike: 5-7PM July 6th at the John Merle Coulter Natural Preserve. Join Susan Kirt, an award-wimming photographer with a background in biology and botany, at the John Merle Nature Preserve in search of the perfect shot. Seasonal highlights of the preserve will be photographed as Susan shows her tips and tricks for nature photography. This walk also includes a brief history of the preserve. All levels of photography are welcome, so bring your camera or smartphone! Registration is required

Porter

Family 4th Fest: 9AM-11PM July 4th at Hawthorne Park. Family fun on the 4th of July. parade 9am begins at Yost Elementary School and ends in the park. Free games and activities for kids. Lions Club pancake breakfast 7-11am, Turtle Derby 11am (for details see Chesterton Lions website), bounce houses, music, beer garden, food and fireworks at dusk.
Bailly Homestead Candlelight Tour (Full Moon): 730-900PM July 8th at the Billy/Chellberg parking lot. Experience the nightlife of 150 years ago during a ranger-led tour of the historic Bailly Homestead in Indiana Dunes National Lakeshore. During the program, learn about the lifestyles of the fur traders and native Potawatomi before touring the first floor of the Bailly House while it is lit by candlelight. Meet at the Bailly Homestead/Chellberg Farm parking lot. This program includes a shore 1/3 mile-long hike to the homestead. Allow about one hour to visit the site. No reservations are necessary. Insect repellent is recommended and be sure to bring a flashlight for the hike back to the parking lot after the program
Kayak Fishing: 7-10AM July 9th, call 219-395-1882 for location. Paddle with a ranger and join in the pursuit for the elusive Skamania Steelhead. bring your own equipment, wear a lifejacket, and obey fishing laws.

Valparaiso

Valparaiso 4th of July Celebration: 630-830PM at Thomas Jefferson Middle School. There will be music and activities. The fireworks show begins at approximately 9:15 p.m., bring lawn chairs or blankets for seating. Vendors will be available to purchase refreshments.
We Are Porter County Series: 9AM-5PM July 6th at the Porter County Museum. "We are Porter County" will highlight the formation of the county from its founding in 1836 to present day. Held on the first Thursday of each month.
Shakespeare in the Park: The Taming of the Shrew: July 7th-8th at Central Park Plaza. Join CST under the stars for a classic romp about the love/hate courtship of Petruchio and the headstrong Katherina at the 6th Annual Shakespeare in the Park, The Taming of the Shrew, a tale that is filled with mistaken identities, humor and wit.
Acorn Concert Series - The Black Lillies and the Way Down Wand: 7-10PM July 8th at Taltree Arboretum and Gardens. Named as one of Rolling Stones Magazine's "10 artists you need to know", The Black Lillies an award-winning blend of country, alt-rock, neo-folk, and mountain music. cording to Rolling Stone Magazine, "no independent band has played the Grand Ole Opry more often then The Black Lillies". Opening for The Black Lillies is The Way Down Wanderers. This Americana group formed in Chicago was listed on Spotify's Songpicker's 2016 Best Song Playlist and listed as 2014's best emerging artist by Deli Magazine. Craft beer, wine, and local food favorites will be available to purchase during the concert. Bring lawn chairs. This is a fancy-freindly event. Smoking and outside beverages are prohibited.
7th Annual Livin' It Up Music Festival: 3-9PM July 9th at Zao Island Amusement and Recreation Center. Beatles and Rolling Stones Cover Concert to benefit the Special Olympics. Tickets are available before or at the gate. featuring performance by Beggar's Banquet (Rolling Stones), Chris & Lou Beatles Experience, Disreali Gears (Cream), Ripley Street, 3 Peace and DJ Andy Petrovich. Music begins at 3pm. There will also be a variety of children's activities, and other engaging events.

Whiting

July 3rd Party in the Park: 7-10PM July 3rd at Whiting Lakefront Park. Food, drinks, and live music by the Nick Danger Band with dazzling Independence Day fireworks over Lake Michigan.
Whiting’s 98th Annual 4th of July Parade: Starting at 10AM July 4th. Parade starts at 116th Street and Indianapolis Blvd. Goes south to 119th Street, makes a left on 119th Street to Front Street, makes a left on Front Street and ends in Whiting Lakefront Park. Featuring Nationally Recognized Characters followed by a Whiting Lakefront Park Character Meet & Greet.

North East Indiana

Angola

Angola Balloons Aloft: July 7th-8th at the Angola High School. Hot air balloon competition featuring special-shaped balloons plus 30 additional balloons. Other entertainment for 2017 will include remote controlled aerial displays, an expanded Kid's Fun Zone, helicopter rides, skydiving, classic car and tractor show and food and retail vendors.

Fort Wayne

Three Rivers Festival: July 7th-15th at Headwaters Park. Fort Wayne’s favorite summer party since 1969! All the great and loved events are back for this year’s festival. For additional information, please visit the Three Rivers Festival website
The Lettermen: 8PM July 8th at Foellinger Outdoor Theater. The All-American family friendly trio The Lettermen consists of Donovan Tea, Bobby Poynton, and founding Member Tony Butala. In the 1960s and 1970 The Lettermen scored over 25 chart hit singles including “Theme from “A Summer Place,’” ‘Goin’ Out of My Head / Can’t Take My Eyes Off You,” and “Hurt So Bad.” The Lettermen have recorded in fourteen languages, and received eighteen gold records.
Open Streets: 11AM-3PM July 9th at Downtown Fort Wayne. Open Streets Fort Wayne will temporarily close the street to vehicles and open it to walkers, bike riders, roller skaters and fun activities such as giant inflatable games for kids. The event will allow residents to see Fort Wayne in a unique way, get some exercise and socialize with new and old friends. This year’s Open Streets Fort Wayne connects the neighborhoods of West Central, East Central, LaRez, Hoagland Masterson and Williams Woodland with the Central Business District on Calhoun Street. The event area goes from the St. Marys River south on Calhoun to Williams Street. In between there are activities that connect Berry, Wayne, Ewing and Barr Streets. Open Streets is family-friendly and free for everyone. Along the Open Street route attendees will find Activity Hubs featuring live music, golf, Fort Wayne Derby Girls, soccer, and many other activities. A full list of activities will be announced soon. Additionally, several businesses normally closed on Sunday will be open.

Huntington

Splash on the Wabash - Huntington: 10AM-4PM at Forks of the Wabash Historic Park. Inner Tube Lazy River Ride Who’s ready for a fun lazy river ride down the Wabash River? The float lasts 60 to 90 minutes. There are three launch times to choose from (10 a.m., noon or 2 p.m.). Bring your own heavy duty river tube and life jacket and for only $5; or reserve one our tubes for $10. Activity limited to individuals 8+. Life jackets are required. To reserve your place and tube, visit www.splashonthewabash.com. Advance reservations required for tube rentals due to limited numbers. Cash only day of event. FREE Family activities Noon-4 p.m. - Come celebrate the rivers with free inflatables, water paddle boats for the little ones, “walk on water” balls and a zip line ($5 per run)! Children will get wet so dress them appropriately! There will be hamburgers and hotdogs for purchase. FREE Kayak Usage Noon-4 p.m. - Take a spin on the river in a kayak! Volunteers will be available to help you learn how to use this great mode of transportation. Huntington is just 90 minutes north of Indianapolis and 20 minutes from Fort Wayne. Close access to camping and hotels.

Portland

Jay County 4th of July Celebration: July 4th at the Jay County Fairgrounds. Food booths, games, talent show & more! Parade downtown 11:00 AM. Fireworks at dusk.

Central Indiana

Anderson

Indiana's Most Spectacular Free Fireworks Show: 430-11PM at Hoosier Park Racing and Casino. Racing Early Post Time 4:30 pm. Free Family Fun Activities Beginning at 5:30 pm. Free Live Performance by THE FABULOUS THUNDERBIRDS. Outdoors - Following Live Racing. Free light-up Holiday Beads – Earn 25 same-day points then visit Club Centaur starting at 4 pm. All ages welcome - Must be 21 to enter the casino.

Brookeville

White's Farm free 4th of July concert and fireworks: 3-10PM at White's Farm. White’s Farm will be celebrating July 4th with a special Twilight Tuesday flea market. This free, family friendly event will feature a free concert, corn hole contest, and a sunset fireworks display. White’s Farm will be celebrating July 4th with the following events: Tuesday, July 4: •3pm-dark Flea Market •3pm Music by “Second Warning” •6pm Music by “Endless Summer” •Sunset Fireworks Display All events are free to the public.

Brownsburg

RedBull Global Rallycross: July 9th at Lucas Oil Raceway. Red Bull Global Rallycross will make its long-awaited debut in Indianapolis on July 8-9 with a brand new event at Lucas Oil Raceway. Red Bull Global Rallycross Indianapolis will kick off the second half of the series’ 2017 schedule, hosting the seventh round of this year’s championship.

Danville

National Powwow: July 6th-9th at the Hendricks County 4-H Fairgrounds. National Powwow only occurs every three years and stands as one of the nation’s largest events promoting education and awareness of the American Indian culture. The four-day event, scheduled for July 6-9, introduces visitors to a cultural experience filled with traditional singing and dancers in full regalia, primitive skills demonstrations, a living history tipi village, ethnic foods, crafts, artisans, kids’ activities and so much more.

Indianapolis

311: 730PM July 4th at The Pavillion at Pan Am. For over two decades, fans have been treated to the genre-bending rock accompanying 311 tour dates, and now you’ll have the chance to experience it all live. The Nebraska natives are known for putting on a great show, so join the party with 311 tickets in stock now.
IPL Downtown Freedom Fest: 630-1030 July 4th at the grounds of the Indiana War Memorial. Enjoy live entertainment from the Indianapolis Colts Stage, family fun in the Royal Pin Leisure Centers Kids Area, support local small businesses in the Indiana Originals Marketplace and get a great view of the Downtown fireworks display launched from Regions Tower! Tune your radio to B105.7, 97.1 HANK FM, or 93.1 WIBC for the official fireworks soundtrack.

Lafayette

Mosey Down Main Street: July 8th at Downtown Lafayette. Live entertainment, food, family-friendly, free event introducing the sights, sounds, venues and merchants of downtown Lafayette.
Wabash Riverfest: 9AM-4PM July 8th at Tapawingo Park. Family-friendly celebration of the Wabash River. Canoe races, food, music, educational exhibits, 5k run, bike events, children's activities and more!

Muncie

Bettye Lavette in Concert - Part of the Muncie Three Trails Music Series: 7-10PM July 8th at Cannan Commons. Three time Grammy nominee Bettye LaVette to perform in a FREE concert in downtown Muncie. “A valid rival to Aretha as the best woman soul singer of the past 50 years.”—Irish Times

Shelbyville

Shelby County Fair: July 3rd-8th at the Shelby County Fairgrounds. 4-H exhibits, live music, great food and vendor booths. Superb midway and special activities every night.
FREE Star Spangled Grandeur Spectacular Fireworks Show: July 3rd 12PM-11PM at the Indiana Grand Racing and Casino. MONDAY, JULY 3 - OUTDOOR PATRIOTIC PICNIC •Free Live Show with the FABULOUS THUNDERBIRDS at 8PM Outside on Trackside Apron •Free DJ Square at 9PM at Center Bar on the Casino Floor •FREE Star Spangled Grandeur spectacular FIREWORKS show at 10PM. Plus it's FREEdom Weekend. Free Patriotic Fun the Whole Weekend! Must be 21 to enter the casino

Spencer

BREATHE a Slackline and Discovery Festival: July 6th-9th at Stable Studios. Breathe Festival is a legitimate good time for folks who like to feel alive. This family friendly event is centered around the art of slacklining. Though it's reach expands much further to encompass yoga, dance, flow arts, paddle boarding, meditation, drumming, a talk tent, & hiking! Workshops are available at any practice level. As camping event, a community kitchen will be designated so if you decide to come alone, you have one more delicious opportunity to make friends. We are an activity camp by day with roaring bon fire parties at night. And, someone always manages to bring along a huge tub of s'more making stuff. Come Breathe with Us!

Southern Indiana

Corydon

Battle of Corydon Re-enactment: July 8th-9th at Hayswood Nature Reserve. Join us for the re-enactment of the Battle of Corydon at Hayswood Nature Reserve. Saturday, July 8th - Corydon Battle Park – Open from 10am – 5pm, Cabin tours, speakers, On the square – 10am-12pm, Federal army recruitment by the Indiana Legion, Hayswood Nature Reserve – Camps open from 10am – 5pm, Demonstrations, displays, speakers, vendors, Battle Reenactment at 3pm. Sunday, July 9th - Corydon Battle Park – Open from 12 – 5pm, Cabin tours, speakers, Hayswood Nature Reserve – Camps open from 12 – 3pm, Demonstrations, displays, speakers, vendors, Battle Reenactment at 2pm
Corydon Capital Day: 10AM-6PM July 8th at Historic Downtown Corydon. Corydon Capital Day, “a step back in time”.

Freetown

Freetown July Festival: July 7th-8th near the Freetown Fire Station. This patriotic, small town festival features vendors, fun for the family, a fish fry, a large parade, contests, music and a lot of hometown pride.

French Lick

Wild West Hold Up: July 1-4 at French Lick Scenic Railway. The bandits known as the Lost River Renegades strike again on the French Lick Express. Local marshals are lookin' for brave souls to climb aboard the next train ride to help catch the scoundrels.

Haysville

Haysville Ruritan Summer Fest: July 7th-8th at Haysville Park. The Haysville Raritan Summer Fest 53rd annual Haysville Sommerfest takes place on Friday, July 10, 2017, and Saturday, July 11. Events take place at Haysville Park, just west of U.S. 231 in Haysville. Admission is free with proceeds raised at the festival donated to the community.

Lincoln City

Young Abe Lincoln - 30th Anniversary Special Presentation: 7-9PM July 6th-8th at the Lincoln Amphitheatre. Make plans this summer to witness the remarkable story of a young Abraham Lincoln, brought to life on the Lincoln Amphitheatre's performance stage for the first time since 2005! Set in the woods of his boyhood home at the picturesque Lincoln Amphitheatre, this special 30th anniversary edition of Young Abe Lincoln is a playful story chronicling the events that shaped our 16th president as he grew up in Southern Indiana. This heartwarming musical is sure to delight audiences of all ages. Children 12 and under are welcome to attend "Young Abe Lincoln" free of charge. "Young Abe Lincoln" is based on the original Billy Edd Wheeler script and is being produced by Actor's Community Theater

Linton

Linton Freedom Festival: 6-11PM July 1-8 at Humphreys Park. Host to Indiana's largest Independence Day parade on July 4 at 10AM. Week long festivities include great tenderloin sandwiches, entertainment, car show, flea market, carnival, fireworks. Times vary daily. Check our website for the complete event schedule. Spend your July 4 with us!

Pekin

Pekin's Fourth of July Celebration: July 1-4 at Pekin Park and Town Area. The Pekin, Indiana Fourth of July Celebration has deep roots dating back to 1830. Proudly claiming the "Oldest Consecutive Fourth of July Celebration in the United States," Pekin's Fourth truly captures the patriotic celebrations of the past. The 2017 celebration will mark the 187th event for the town complete with fireworks, a parade, carnival, a variety of live entertainment, a prince and princess contest, queen contest, food vendors, flea market and other activities providing something for everyone.

Rising Sun

Fireworks & Music in Rising Sun: 7-11PM July 3rd at Rising Sun Riverfront Park. The City of Rising Sun presents free fireworks and live music in downtown Rising Sun, IN, on Monday, July 3. A band performs from 7-10 p.m. at the Rising Sun Riverfront Park along the Ohio River waterfront at Front Street*. Fireworks are 10-10:30 p.m. Food is available for sale by the Rising Sun Lion's Club. The public should bring their own chairs and blankets. *The location may be subject to change to Shiner Park depending on water conditions.

West Baden

Senior LPGA Championship: July 5th-12th at The Pete Dye Golf Course. The Senior LPGA Championship is coming to French Lick! A week long celebration of women's golf will start at the Donald Ross Golf Course on July 6th and will end with the Inaugural Senior LPGA Championship at the Pete Dye Golf Course on July 12th. The field of 81 players will feature a collection of past greats in the women 's game including LPGA Hall-of-Fame members, current LPGA members and major champions over the age of 45.

ONGOING EVENTS
Northwest Indiana

Beverly Shores

Beginning Birding Program: 9-1030AM Saturdays through July 29th at the Great Marsh Trail parking lot. Join a ranger and fellow birding enthusiasts every Saturday morning. No birding experience is required. A spotting scope and binoculars will be provided. The program will start at the southern gravel parking lot followed by a short hike to the Great Marsh observation deck to look for herons, egrets, ducks and other birds of the marsh. If you arrive late, simply hike to the observation deck to join the vent. The hike will be offered every Saturday in July.

Chesterton

Chesterton's European Market: Every Saturday from 10AM - 2PM until October 28th on Third Street and Broadway in Downtown Chesterton. An outdoor family/artisanal market

Gary

Beach Fun Friday: Starting at 1PM Fridays in July at West Beach. Beach Day at West Beach! Activities such as kayaking, SUP's, a sunset hike, and a beach campfire. Bring a picnic dinner and eat at a picnic shelter. This event will be offered every Friday during the month of July.

Hebron

Pav's Summer Car Nites - Every Tuesday evening through the summer. Variety of rides, good food and music at Pav's Restaurant
Suzy's Diner Cruise Night - Every Wednesday, April to October, 4-8 p.m at Suzy's Diner. Enjoy cool cars, music and a special discount at the diner

Michigan City

Pinhook Bog Open House: 12-3PM Saturdays July 1-29 at Pinhook Bog. Take a self-guided hike into the amazing Pinhook Bog at Indiana Dunes National Lakeshore. Rangers and volunteers stationed along the trail will help you understand this unique rem ant of the last ice age that is filled with carnivorous plants, orchids and many other interesting plants. Please allow about one hour to walk the trail and tour the quaking bog. This hike will be offered every Saturday in July.

Miller

Miller Woods Hike: 130-330PM Sundays July 2-30 at Miller Woods. Join a ranger for a hike through Indiana Dunes National Lakeshore;s beautiful Miller Woods. The hike starts at the National Lakeshore's Paul H. Douglas center and travels though varied habitats including rare and beautiful black oak savanna and offers incredible views of Lake Michigan and Chicago. These hikes will be offered every Sunday in July.

Munster

Sunday Market in the Park: 8AM-2PM every Sunday through October at Centennial Park Clubhouse. Produce, plants, home-made jams and jellies, baked goods, cheese, food vendors, drinks, local crafts and artwork, jewelry, clothing, bath and beauty products, direct sales businesses and more! Live Music every other week beginning May 14

Portage

Portage Cruise-in: Every Tuesday evening throughout the summer. Variety of rides, good food and music at Woodland Park
Portage Community Market: 11AM-3PM every Sunday until September 11th at Founders Square Park. More than 30 vendors will participate in the Portage Community Market. There will be locally grown produce, flowers, popcorn, honey, bread, barbecue, handmade crafts and much more.
Portage Summer Music in the Park: Every Tuesday evening throughout the summer. All concerts will be held indoors at either Sycamore Hall or Oakwood Grand Hall in Woodland Park. Featuring Music ranges from 40s to 50s, rock & roll, swing, blues, contemporary and all featuring local talent.

Porter

Bailly Cemetery Hike & Bailly/Chellberg Open House: 12-130PM Sundays July 2-30 at Bailly Homestead & Chellberg Farm. Join rangers for an afternoon exploring two of our historic homesteads. Meet at Noon in the Bailly/Chellberg parking lot for an informative 90-minute hoe to the Bailly Cemetery. Upon returning, explore the interiors of the Chellberg Farmhouse and the historic Bailly Homestead from 1:30 - 4:00 p.m. Learn about early settlers and famers who came to this region in the1800s. You can also see the farm animals who have recently returned to the Chellberg farm. The hike will be offered every Sunday in July
Mount Baldy Hike: 10-1130AM Sundays July 2-30 at Indiana Dunes Visitor Center. Join a ranger for a special guided morning hike along a trail on the western edge to the top of famous Mount Baldy. Even though the area is closed for general public access, this ranger-led tour allows visitors to experience the beauty and spectacular views from the tallest dune in the national lakeshore. This hike will be offered every Sunday in July. You must pre-register for the tour by calling 219-395-1882.

Valparaiso

Summer Outdoor Movies: 7:30PM Tuesdays in June at Central Park Plaza. Watch your favorite movies under the beautiful night sky. Bring lawn chairs or a blanket
Summer Rhapsody Music Festival: Thursday nights until August 31 at The Porter Health Amphitheatre in Central Park Plaza. For all of the music lovers out there, come out and enjoy the sounds of the season with the Summer Rhapsody Music Festival. This concert showcase features many artists – each with their own unique style and sound. Select Thursday nights in the summer, concertgoers of all ages will enjoy a feast of different sounds underneath the beautiful night sky at The Porter Health Amphitheater in Central Park Plaza. Whether it’s a rock n’ roll band of yesteryear, an easy-going Motown group, or the elegant sounds that only a symphony orchestra can create, there’s something for everybody at this music festival. Bring your picnic, your blanket or chairs, and of course, your music-loving family and friends, and come relax in the park with the sounds of the Summer Rhapsody Music Festival.
Valparaiso Market: Every Tuesday and Saturday throughout the summer from 11AM-1PM. Fresh produce, handmade crafts, flowers, and live entertainment.
Taltree Railway Garden: Open from April 1st through October 31st. Featuring dwarf plants and model steam engine trains, the exhibit showcases the impact steam engine trains had on early 19th century U.S. railroads

North East Indiana

Auburn

You Had Me at Merlot Walking Wine Barrel Art Tour: All summer in Downtown Auburn. Walk the beautiful tree lined streets of Historic Downtown Auburn and enjoy 20 Wooden Wine Barrels transformed into unique works of art by local and regional artists. This outdoor walking tour exhibit is juried with awards and art auction held each year at the end of summer. This annual exhibit has included many different art objects over the past eight years, from giant paintings on easels to garden benches. This year's exhibit celebrates the many wineries of this area with its wooden wine barrels. Walking Tour maps are available at no cost in most downtown businesses

Fort Wayne

Rock the Plaza: Free concert series put on by the Allen County Public Library each Saturday evening throughout the summer

Middlebury

Essenhaus Classic Car Cruise-In: Every Thursday throughout summer at Grounds of Das Dutchman Essenhaus. A weekly classic car cruise-in with no participation or entry fee. Participants will also enjoy door prize giveaways, coupons for shopping and dining as well as 50’s-style music. Most evenings, hand dipped ice cream and live entertainment will be provided.

Shipshewana

Midwest's Largest Flea Market: 8AM-5PM every Tuesday and Wednesday until October. Same venue as the Shipshewana Auction
Shipshewana Trading Place Auction: 9AM every Wednesday all year. This auction features up to 10 auctioneers selling a variety of antiques and misc. items beginning with the auction bell at 9 am. Visitors tell us there is no other experience quite like it. With a variety of food choices on site, including our Auction Restaurant, featuring Amish home-style cooking and the best pie in town, you can easily spend the entire day shopping, relaxing and enjoying the sights & sounds without having to leave our grounds.

Warsaw

Lake City Skiers Water Ski Show: 6:30-7:30PM every Sunday and Tuesday at Hidden Lake. The shows are a themed production including music and costumes with an announcer to guide you through the action. You will see Extreme jump acts, An all girl Ballet line, Barefoot water skiing, Swivel skiing, doubles routines and human pyramids just to name a few. The show last about 1 hour followed by a meet and greet with the skiers. The Lake City Skiers have been providing fun family entertainment since 1989 and are Indiana's only competitive show ski team holding 4 National Championships in 2006, 2007, 2014, and 2016.

Central Indiana

Connersville

Fayette County Farmers' Market: Saturdays 9AM-12PM until October 7th. Local vendors from Fayette and surrounding counties offer farm fresh fruits, vegetables, meat, eggs, cheese, baked goods, herbs, plant stock and seeds, high quality crafts including paintings, pottery, sculptures, alpaca fiber items, goat milk soaps, jewelry, photography and so much more. Local artists, performers, and musicians highlighted as regularly scheduled entertainment. Now accepting SNAP/EBT, SenioWIC Farmers' Market Vouchers, several vendors accept debit/credit cards.

Fishers

Kroger Symphony on the Prairie: Every weekend at Conner Prairie. The Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra's summer series provides music from classical, pop, and rock genres from mid-June through Labor Day weekend.
Saxony Market: 8AM-12PM Saturdays at Saxony Market. SAXONY MARKET is proud to provide a home for some of Central Indiana’s finest local vendors selling these fine products: fresh produce, Indiana sweet corn, homemade baked goods, floral and gardening supplies, savory herbs, crafted jewelry, authentic home cooked cuisine, sweet treats, handmade bath products and much more!

Indianapolis

Animals and All that Jazz Concert Series: 530-830PM Thursdays in July at the Indianapolis Zoo. This Thursday night tradition returns for the 30th year in a big way! Animals & All That Jazz will be moving under the all-new Bicentennial Pavilion to offer more space to eat, drink, sit back or dance. This summer concert series features sensational music from all genres of jazz. Come play early at the Zoo and stay late for a night of jazz with music beginning at 5:30pm! Walk the Zoo while listening to the music or stay in closer near the stage. Best of all, experience the ambience of the Zoo after hours along with: Music: Performed live from 5:30-8:30pm, Food: Great specialty food stations feature a new menu for purchase each night, Beverages: A full bar, featuring beer sampling for those 21 years and older, Animals: On exhibit until 7pm, Rides: Available until 7pm. Zoo Members: Ride tickets are only $1 per ride from 5-7pm. Tables are open on a first-come, first-serve basis. Concerts are free for Zoo members and included with regular admission. Make the most of your day by coming out early and staying late. Enjoy a full day at the Zoo, save time and save money by purchasing tickets in advance online or at Indiana Members Credit Union locations.
Groovin' In The Garden: 2-5PM every Saturday until September 30th at the Easley Winery. We offer daily wine specials, cool tunes from the best musical acts of the greater Indianapolis area, and an experience you won't soon forget. Feel free to bring along your favorite foods or order from local restaurants to have delivered here to the winery, and don't forget to bring a chair!

Muncie

National Aeromodeling Championships: July 1-31 at the Academy of Model Aeronautics. The National Aeromodeling Championships are back and bigger than ever! Thousands of pilots from across the national will meet in Muncie, IN for the nation’s largest model competitions. Come see what the talk is all about and see a competition for yourself! Visit nats.modelaircraft.org for a full schedule of the events. And while you’re here stop in our world-class National Model Aviation Museum. All the fun happens at the International Aeromodeling Center, right off the Muncie bi-pass on East Memorial Drive.

Southern Indiana

Bloomington

Bloomington Community Farmers' Market: 8AM-12PM Saturdays at Showers Common.
Love's Labour's Lost: 730-10PM every other day in July starting on the 7th at Wells-Metz Theatre. IU Summer theatre presents William Shakespeare’s Love’s Labour’s Lost! In one of Shakespeare's earliest comedies, the King of Nevarre and his three male friends have pledged to swear off the company of women for three years and focus on a life of study. But when the Princess of France and her ladies show up on the scene, the men and their intentions of living a life of abstinence are tested. Tickets are available at the Indiana University Auditorium box office or at theatre.indiana.edu.
Persuasion: 730-10PM every other day in July starting on the 8th at the Wells-Metz Theatre. IU Summer Theatre presents Persuasion! In this adaptation of Jane Austen's romantic novel, Anne and her former fiancé, Captain Wentworth, are thrust back into each other's lives after seven years apart. As the plot thickens, Anne and Captain Wentworth must wrestle with their true feelings and decide whether or not they were wrong all those years ago. Tickets are available at the Indiana University Auditorium box office or at theatre.indiana.edu.

French Lick

Elephant Retreat and Giraffe Encounter at Wilstem Ranch: All summer long. An African elephant herd of three girls will be retreating at Wilstem Ranch, only 7 miles from French Lick. The three elephants that retreat at Wilstem Ranch each year are retired from making appearances in parades, circus acts and more. But as they age, even elephants need retreats, and they're coming to town for a vacation! This one of a kind up-close encounter is a rare and wonderful opportunity to learn more about these amazing creatures and connect with them in a tranquil environment

Newburgh

Newburgh Farmers Market: Saturdays 8AM-12PM through September 30th. At the Newburgh Farmer’s Market you will find the very best seasonal produce complemented by products like honey, grass fed meats, dairy products, flowers, cheese, breads, and pastries. There are also crafts, art, plants, flowers, & honey along with live music to complete the festival atmosphere. Free. Special event weekends include: Kids Day and Dog Days of Summer.

Orleans

Orange County HomeGrown Orleans Farmer's Market: 8AM-12PM Saturdays through October 28th at Orleans Congress Square. Locally grown produce, baked goods, local handcrafted items, Buck-a-Book trailer, jammer tent, Master Gardener, and fun family activities. Sponsored by Orange County HomeGrown

One thing I wish they'd put in GTA Online, that was in Red Dead:

Slaughter Theatre Part Two

I looked at the man with unwilling disdain, he was hardly the most approachable character. In the background I could see staff miserably toiling, the sun was hot, and the men looked dirty and overworked.
'So...' Fortyn Kildare insisted, 'Like I said. All the information about the murder was provided at the time. What exactly are you hoping to dig up now??'
‘Well there’s nothing TO dig up’ I smiled, ‘The body was dumped in plain sight. I don’t really need any information about the death Mr Kildare. Have you had anyone suspicious working on your staff in the past two years?’ ‘As I told the bloody cops—’ Fortyn cursed; ‘Every cunt that works here is suspect. We’re working twelve hour days here Mr investigator. Don’t suspect you know what this kind of work is like, but this isn’t exactly the best job out there. We attract all kinds here.’
I had to squint temporarily from the glare of the sun bouncing off a metal girder.
‘Don’t you have some kind of a union Mr Kildare?’. Fortyn glared menacingly, then leant over to speak more softly; ‘Too right we do. Matter of fact, there’s been a lot of action lately. Just like the old days you know. Well, they’re trying to pull a shifty on the working class again.’ ‘Oh yeah, really?’ I prompted. ‘Damn straight it is…Ever since Howard’s work choices, these new contractual cheats, you can sign a form that agrees to just about anything. They’ve got fake companies set up to take care of the unions, and we’re all working twelve hours. If you complain they’ll send you off site, or sack you. My great, great grandfather was there at the rallies— back in 1856 —when the Stonemasons won the eight hour day you know. They think they can pull the wool over our eyes, but we’re regrouping. Just like the old days, down at the docks. In the casino’s. The Unions are coming back. You better fuckin’ believe it—— What’s wrong with that eh?’
I could see that Fortyn Kildare was not going to be particularly helpful, and his tangent interests showed pretty clearly that he knew absolutely nothing about the murder. I didn’t want to waste my ten minutes, before Pex escorted from the premises, but I asked Kildare one last question for good measure, ‘Have you ever heard about Slaughter Theatre— Mr Kildare?’ The ocker man almost spat the words ‘NO!’ at me, and I quickly consoled the impatient mullet donning gruff that I wasn’t going to take up any more of his time; ‘Thanks for your help’.
I walked slowly in a maudlin fashion back towards the front fences, as other tradies had begun hollering and leering at me….trudging over dirt and loose stones. I couldn’t think of much else to look at, the exhausted workers around me didn’t seem worth bothering. My own inner monologue was echoing the sentiment expressed by Drendyl Pex— that this pursuit was little more than a wild donkey chase. A mad conspiracy theory. Nonetheless, what Pex had said about the two crimes displaying traits of a potential serial killer had got me thinking, and I realised I needed to get home and do some more research on the press surrounding the Alice Goddard murder.
As I was walking out the gate, I noticed the receptionist, (who was apparently not a receptionist) smoking a cigarette out on the street, and my sleuth’s intuition told me it was worth staying for one last round of questioning. I approached her calmly. ‘Let me guess, Vogue menthol thins.’ The woman turned, breathing out smoke and pouting, the thin white cigarette in her hand fell down to her side; ‘How did you guess?’ She asked. ‘Ex smokers hunch.’ I replied, ‘I have a sixth sense when it comes to horoscopes and cigarette brands. It comes with constant investigation. You get to know people’s types.’ ‘Is that right?’ The woman responded amused but cynical, ‘What star sign am I then?’ ‘Judging from what i’ve seen of you’ I said thoughtfully, ‘I’d say Gemini, there’s more to you than there seems.’ The woman raised her eyebrow, partially impressed; “May twenty. Just off the mark Mr Dronefire. But you were close. My mother always told me I was a cusp Taurus.’ ‘Ms Weabley isn’t it?’ I checked. ‘Lisa’ she replied, holding out her hand in an informal re-greeting. ‘Mr Pex tells me you work in occupational health and safety here. So you must have a pretty good handle on what’s occurred on and off this site.’ ‘Listen Mr Dronefire, you really ought to speak to Mr Pex in regards to—‘ ’Mr Pex told me I could speak to you, I assure you, this place is not under investigation. Actually I was just wondering if you’d ever seen a film crew working on the site. Maybe a stupid question.’ ‘Huh?’, Lisa changed her tone drastically, ’Now…. why would you ask that?’ ‘I’m trying to track down someone who may have shot a video here.’ I continued, ‘You have had a film crew here then?’
‘Yes. I mean…’ Ms Weabley stuttered and thought for a moment, she had a strangely compelling face, especially when deep in thought, mousey blond hair falling over her creased forehead… ‘We do promotional marketing. Social media videos.. and….’ ‘—Would you have had any film crew in the yards any time near July last year?’ I asked. ‘Yes.’ Lisa replied anxiously, ‘We were particularly active mid last year, then it slowed down, didn’t film anything September till Christmas.’ ‘Do you have a regularly production crew you work with?’ ‘Not right now….No…but…’ Lisa contemplated it, ‘We did have a specific crew back then. Sure. Hey… I can send you the production call sheet with the contacts of everyone who worked on those jobs, will that help?’ ‘Brilliant, yes. Thank you Ms Weabley.’ We exchanged contact details and I returned to my car, shortly I was back in the air conditioning of my Valiant Charger, on the road for an afternoon drink in Fitzroy. I had a taste for that rum Mr Pex had given me, and managed to track one down at the old rum house, Gunnery white spiced. Seven rums later and the investigation had pleasantly left my mind.
Dreams of falling men in suits, alien flowers and twisting vines tangled in a web. Monday morning and my paranoia was back in full force, when the email from Lisa Weabley showed up in my inbox.
The call sheet Ms Weabley sent was amateurish and brief, but it did give me a list of people to call.
I spent that morning dialling numbers. There was no director listed, which I found marginally strange. The cameraman, Mark Virafi must have changed his number in the past year, because the number listed on the call sheet had a disconnected Telstra message, or it was bad data entry. Next on the list was an editor, by the name of Lumborg Hames. I didn’t get through the first or second time I called. Left a bunch of voice mail messages and texts, and finally got a call back around lunch time. He was a very softly spoken guy, definitely your introverted, creative type. I told him a simple version of my background to the case, and he agreed to meet up for a chat in a Richmond cafe. He lived on Gwynne St in Cremorne, down towards the water. From my understanding it was only a short distance from Stephenson Street where notorious criminal Dennis Allen once lived.
I met with Lumborg Hames on Tuesday. I was sitting in the Red Dog cafe, and i’d grown starving before Mr Hames arrived, so I ordered a big breakfast. When Lumborg arrived I was hoeing into a bacon and hash brown sandwich covered in baked beans. Mr Hames stood awkwardly around for a while, looking back and forth nervously until I noticed him and called out; ‘Mr Hames?’.
He was a big guy, very wide in girth, having what some might describe as a ‘neck beard’, a fluffy coating over numerous chins, and his beady-but-kind eyes looked out of round glasses. He was wearing the sort of cheesy comedy T-shirt you might have found at Granny May’s in the nineties, text said something dumb like ‘Whatever you want. The answer is NO’. Lumborg nervously sat in front of me, and I apologised for ordering before he arrived, but he told me in his wafting soft voice that he had already eaten. When the waitress came over he ordered a coffee, and I followed his lead. ‘Thanks for coming Mr Hames, I do appreciate you giving me your time. I know you're probably a busy editor.’ ‘Not really’ Lumborg confessed, almost too candidly, ‘I work freelance, between jobs at the moment, so…..i’ve got time.’ There was an awkward silence, where I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to feign empathy, or just pretend like his job insecurity was normal. Luckily Lumborg quickly broke the silence; ‘Sooo…. You want to know about when I was working at the Three Vertice construction company I guess?’ ’Sort of…’ I replied, not even a hundred percent sure what I was doing myself here yet;
‘But first… humour me… Have you ever heard of something called ‘Slaughter Theatre’ Mr Hames?’ The robust and timid man, suddenly perked up in his seat, his large belly almost jiggling somewhat, ‘Ha… well I didn’t think this chat would get so interesting so quickly. Sure, I know about the trilogy. I work in production, it’s like workers lore.’ ‘You think it’s real?’ I asked directly, feeling my way into Mr Hames psychological profile. ‘Pssssh…No.’ Hames said, ‘If only. No……i’ve never seen any of the alleged footage if that’s what you’re asking. Although i’ve heard plenty of rumours,…worked with people who claim to have seen it…worked on it….’ ‘Interesting. When you were working at Three Vertice construction company did anyone mention Slaughter Theatre?’ I continued... ‘Huh?’ Hames looked at me curiously, ‘Funny you should ask that. Well…first up.. I should tell you, I never actually went to Three Vertice Construction yards.' 'What?' 'I was working on editing some test filming they were doing, that much is true. But everything I did was based out of Hapless Creative Studios in Brunswick. That’s the production company who outsourced freelance editors for the Three Vertice job. I mean, I saw a lot of the construction yards, I watched the same footage about a million times over, you know. But physically I never set foot there.’ ‘Right,’ I said, not having considered this, ‘But you were in contact with other production staff? You must have dealt with Mark Virafi, the cameraman, at least…. i’m guessing?’ ‘Oh sure. Mark came in all the time, to give me the SD cards with the footage on them… you know…’ ‘It’s funny’, I said, ‘I couldn’t get through to him, Mark, I mean…do you know if he’s changed his number?’ ‘I haven’t spoken to Mark in over a year, actually….I ….heard something ….happened to him….. earlier in the year. A car accident or something.’ I tried to trace my line of reasoning for being here, had to keep drilling if I was going to hit oil; ‘What about Drendyl Pex, did you ever meet him?’ ‘The Director?’ Lumborg asked? ‘No…' I replied skeptically, 'The owner….. of Three Vertice Construction.’ ‘Oh…. right…’ Lumborg gave a strange look, ‘To be honest, the moment you asked me about Slaughter Theatre my mind went somewhere else. See the truth is, I…… I did have massive conversations about Slaughter Theatre whilst I was working on the construction videos. You…probably… should speak to my friend Ted Stevens… my understanding… he’s worked for …Mr…Pex quite a bit in the past— in fact that’s how I got the job at TVC in the first place. Ted lives in Richmond not far from here, I can take you round to his place, i’ve been meaning to visit him for a while—to see if he’s got any work going—‘ ‘That would be great.. Do you think you could call him now?’ ‘Sure…. um…’ Lumborg was strangely and increasingly hesitant, pulling out his old school mobile phone, then pausing and lowering it again; ‘…you’re not squeamish or anything are you?’ ‘How do you mean?’ I asked. ‘Well— it’s just. Ted, and his partner, the company they run….. well it’s kind of a porn company. There’s a good chance they’ll be filming and…. well I just wouldn’t want you to feel weird about—‘ ’That’s fine— I have no problem with that…‘
That afternoon turned out to bear strange fruits indeed. I drove, whilst Lumborg directed me to the house, (and home office studio) of Ted Stevens and Dorothy Lench, an odd and highly eccentric Melbourne couple I was about to learn way more about than I ever bargained for. They lived on a fairly well to do street of Richmond, with nice terrace houses lining the leafy streets. As we left the vehicle Lumborg told me that he had called Ted, and they were expecting me, but he suddenly grew strangely timid, and it took a moment to draw it out of him, he was anxious about being on a pornography set, and wanted to know if it was ok if he left me to it. Of course, I consented him to depart, and shortly I was knocking on the strange ornate door, with the delicately carved metal knocker shaped like the logo for the 1992 ‘Bram Stoker Dracula’ film.
I heard shuffling footsteps slowly coming to the door, and finally the mahogany opened to reveal a strange man, with a quiff of black hair with a grey streak, a pink nightgown, slightly open to reveal a hairy chest…. and bunny slippers; ‘Oh helloooo…. you must be Mr Dronefire? I’ve just been speaking to Lumborg…’ the man observed. ’Ted Stevens?’ I asked confounded, not expecting a man of this…. calibre to answer the door. ‘Marvelous…. an actual private investigator… what a fantastic character study..’ Ted said… ‘We have P.I’s in our productions all the time, but i’ve never met a real one… Dorothy? Dorothy?? You have to come and meet our real life— Private Dick…’ A feminine voice called out from a room far down the long hallway, and shortly thereafter a bright, and sprightly figure hopped and scampered down the hallway, she was wearing a costume straight out of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, puffy red skirt and fishnet stockings. Dorothy Lench had far less enthusiasm in her face however, she pouted mysteriously, but her eyes scrunched up in a kind of scowl. ‘Whadda we need a P.I for? We’re shooting a bleedin’ outback scene, it’s a bloody desert fuck…not a noir….’ ‘Im terribly sorry..’ I interjected, ‘I hope i’m not interrupting your work. I’m doing some inquiries into an urban legend surrounding a series of videos——’ ’Oooh fuck me…’ Dorothy burst out laughing, ‘He is a real Private Dick isn’t he. Mandy, what’d’you think of our new Dick?’ A voluptuous blonde, naked from the waist up, with thick, heavenly hair bobbing around her shoulders was now walking up the hallway. I felt my eyes drop nervously to the floor, enchanted by the bare woman’s beauty, as she came closer, her features grew more and more recognisable. Ted meanwhile had draped a long, fluffy scarf around me like he was decorating a christmas tree, his large grin showed an innate mischieviousness, and the freckles on his face added to this impishness; ‘Forgive us, we get terribly excited when we have guests on set. Production can be very stressful, you understand, we work hard, we play hard. Now Mandy, I think you are making our friend here VERY hard.’ I blushed, unable to contain my secret awareness silent; ‘Forgive me. uh….madam… But you’re Mandy, from the “Mandy is randy Down Under” series, aren’t you?’ I blushed. ‘Mandy Thumbridge.’ The buxom blonde stated proudly, ‘You’re a fan of my work?’ ‘I’m aware of the—’ I confessed. ‘Oh come now—‘ Ted scolded, leaping about the room like a mad pixie, ‘Be honest young man, it’s ok to admit to watching pornography. Besides this woman is an artist. You needn’t be ashamed to confess that you like art. Need you now?’ ‘She’s a wonderful actress’ I allowed. ’She’s a goddess` Ted elaborated, ‘All we school boys can do is worship, at the altar of Venus…’ as Ted Spoke, Dorothy Lench had returned to the room carrying an actual carving of the Greek Goddess, placing it in the centre of the hallway, the two mad producers then proceeded to dance around the statue in their grotesque costumes. Mandy Thumbridge, the porn star, meanwhile crossed her arms over her bare chest and turned a mocking expression and lippy pout. She was pure eroticism, I found I had to avert my gaze continually.
Ted was evidently quite high, and had become totally distracted, both from his work, and from my investigation, and he was now completely absorbed in his strange ritualistic dance around the statue of Venus. As he chanted, and mimicked cliche native American gestures, he murmured strange turns of phrase, which sounded as though they had come out of an abandoned script for some demented horror production; ‘Gods, pixies and elves, dancers on the periphery of our imagination, we are married to the Goddess of lust, bring us our givings, before ol’ Cronus, god of time cuts our days short, and ends this marvellous Saturnalia, ho….hum… ho…hum…. Shiva the destroyer, grant us this day of sin….’ ‘Excuse me—‘ I interrupted, quite fed up with the parlour games, ‘I certainly don’t want to rain on your parade, but i’m afraid the reason for my visit is a rather sombre one. I’m investigating two murders which occurred in the last two years.’ Ted and Dorothy stopped their joyous dance, and came to a standstill, as Mandy scrambled to put on a bra. ‘Well… that’s a bit of a buzzkill, isn’t it?’ Ted scoffed. ‘Mr Stevens’ I asked impatiently, ‘Are you aware of rumours surrounding a snuff video known as ‘Slaughter Theatre’ or the Slaughter Theatre trilogy. A cold expression suddenly took over everyone’s faces, Ted grimaced and Dorothy began to lurk in the background. ‘Well…. of course we have…. Mandy learned about death that way, didn’t you babe?’ Ted commented rather coldly and cruelly. The beautiful Miss Thumbridge suddenly burst into tears, and covered her face with her hands, retreating to one of the other rooms. I could gather the momentum to do little else than stare spellbound.
‘I’m afraid that’s a rather sore subject matter Mr Dick’ said Ted, as he and Dorothy fell into a faux traumatic hug with one another.
I indicated with a gesture that I was going to follow Miss Thumbridge and ask her some questions; ‘Do you mind if I—‘ Dorothy and Ted both waved their hands as if to tie their hands from it, ‘Go ahead’ Ted said anxiously.
As I walked down the hallway I could see a large production set in the far room, filled with cardboard cutouts of cactuses and other cliche desert backgrounds. I could hear sobbing emanating from one of the side rooms, and moved to open the door. The room I entered was also decked out as a kind of film set; a science fiction style scene of alien geography of a foreign planet, with a lush queen sized bed out of place in the middle of the mars-like terrain. The walls and roof were black, with recognisable stars and planets in the background. Mandy was sitting on the expensive pink bed and weeping profoundly. I was relieved to see that she had covered up.
I sat next to her on the bed; ‘Miss Thumbridge’ I said gently, ‘I’m very sorry that you obviously have something deeply sad which has affected you. But I must push you, as two young women have been murdered, and anything you know about this snuff trilogy may help get to the bottom of the crimes.’ Mandy looked up through large, manga eyes, her face flushed and covered in tears; ‘Of course I want to help’ she sobbed. ‘You obviously have some kind of story about this.. you worked on—‘ ‘— I don’t know if it was a body… you see all kinds of things on set. You don’t always ask questions. Especially when you’re a naughty picture actress. Sometimes it’s just nice to have a real part, where you don’t have to take your top off and perform oral sex, y’know?’ ‘What pictures are you talking about Mandy?’ I asked, ‘You feel like you saw something unusual on one of the sets you worked on?’ ‘I don’t really feel comfortable talking about it’ Mandy looked down coyly. ‘Just give me something to work on Mandy, anything? The name of the people who filmed you. Something…’ I begged. ’It was…. i’m sorry… i’m sorry… I can’t… Talk to Ted and Dorothy… they know as much as me…. please….’ Mandy burst into tears again, and I rubbed her back consolingly, then quietly, I departed the bizarre outer-space set.
Ted and Dorothy were now sitting on couches in the main foyer, their body language had become closed and they were no longer happy or enthusiastic looking. I walked into the centre of the foyer, trying to appear vulnerable. ‘Mandy is very upset, but she seems to think that the two of you might be in a better position to tell me about whatever compromising scenario she was placed in on one of the sets.’ Ted looked at Dorothy with appreciable mental strain, both were not liking the angle of questioning, so I tried to take an alternate route to the destination, interrupting their thoughts; ‘You two are married, or in an open relationship? I don’t mean to pry….’ The question worked perfectly, exactly as I had hoped. The two clearly thrived on sexual controversy, and loved nothing more than to gloat their eccentricities to a conservative audience; ‘Typical assumption you’d expect from a CIS white male, unfortunately Ted and I don’t fit so neatly into your census form boxes.’ ‘My partner Dorothy identifies as gender fluid, bisexual,’ Ted said proudly and pretentiously; ‘And as for myself, I mostly prefer the description of Pan——sexual, if one must have a sexual tag-line at all. I’d suggest that your prejudiced question itself was an act of violence… but no doubt you’d brand me a social justice warrior, and jump online with your white supremacist friends, or bring your thug cronies around to lynch us, or brand us satanic pornographers and call the police.’ ‘Mr Stevens, I meant no offence.’ I said, ‘I only ask, because i’m interested in Mandy. Do you often participate in the sexual acts in your films yourselves? Is Mandy frequently called to engage with unknown actors or actresses.’ ‘Everything we do at our studio is extremely safe…’ Ted snapped, my plan was working, ‘We have never compromised our actors or actresses, or made them do anything that wasn’t stated clearly in their contracts when they agreed to work… as for other studios, Pex and his crew… I have no responsibility for what happens.’ ‘I’m sorry…’ I asked, ‘Drendyl Pex?’ ‘Sure.’ Ted said without thinking, ‘You didn’t know he was a director? Surely you must have realised that Three Vertice Construction was a front for other business ventures.’ ‘Drendyl Pex works in the porn industry?’ I asked. ‘Drendyl Pex runs the porn industry…’ Ted affirmed with vitriol. ‘And Mandy, she’s worked for Drendyl…’ ‘Listen….’ Ted said standing up, ‘I’m very happy to help a friend of Lumborg Hames, but I don’t think i’m going to be able to help much more with your line of questioning.’
Slowly, but surely, Ted escorted me to the front door, as Dorothy ignored me, and sobbing still reverberated through walls —from the other room.
I left the Stevens house feeling even more highly strung and on edge.
———————————————————————————————————————————————
The next few months were an all consuming blur, fully strung up on the case, I investigated every avenue of intrigue I could. I spoke to countless people in the creative industry who were inadvertently linked to Drendyl Pex. There were many rumours and bizarre stories about the eccentric secret head of the vice industry in Australia. Legends had Drendyl Pex known to wear velvet capes, and strange masks during his directorial stints, orgies and wild parties.
I spoke to someone who had worked on scripts for Drendyl Pex’s production company, the bizarre horror stories had grotesqueries straight out of the Grand Guignol. Every mention of the plots created by Pex’s crew, never failed to embellish the perversity, utter distastefulness and horrendously realistic gore depicted in the films.
Nonetheless, I grew tired of all the hapless hearsay. So many accounts presented the facts of the trilogy, as something that could and had been found, countless times, in second hand stores or on the shelves of private VHS collectors. So I began to spend my weekends trawling through garage sales all over Melbourne, I called private collectors, searching through their immense VHS and DVD collections. I met the owners of ex-video store rentals, went to reverse garbage yards and pawn shops, but never once came across the mysterious VHS tape emblazoned with red letters.
I knew I was getting close to the truth, but something about the things I was learning made me abysmally afraid. Another strange occurrence happened when I showed up at a media industry party. I had attended the event only because I knew certain people who were connected to Pex’s alleged productions were going to be there. Ted Stevens brother was there, Gerald, a producer, also a number of actors who had worked in the same pornography films as Mandy Thumbridge.
It was a costume party, rave, in a secret nightclub decked out in the third floor of the heritage-listed, historic, Royal Exhibition building. As I walked through highly intoxicated and drug addled crowds at the rave I was awestruck by the bizarre costumes and ornate antique decorations adorning the hall. I passed a couple dressed as Azaria Chamberlain and a full-sized man-dingo costume, then came a group of Australian Prime ministers, their intricate plastic masks were quite impressive; Bob Hawke, Robert Menzies, Gough Whitlam. Electronic music played as I walked through the crowds, trying to observe whilst still blending in, a group of drunken louts had noticed me and were laughing and pointing, their costumes; a biker, a soldier, an indigenous warrior and a doctor —resembled a kind of Village People ensemble, all the while strobe lights provided a sinister ambience. One of the girls the village people men were with was wearing a Madonna style cone shaped bra, and was drawing a lot of hollering, wolf whistling and attention towards her. Meanwhile, a g-string donning Hitler was sitting on the bar, bearing fishnet stocking clad legs and talking to a group dressed as the Bali Bombers, and behind them there seemed to be the entrance to a much seedier part of the club.
I had seen Gerald Stevens earlier, along with other producers and creatives, but many of them had disappeared, and I began to think that perhaps Pex’s creatives were lurking somewhere out in the back of the club. I wasn’t sure if I would be permitted to enter, sure enough, as I tried to make my way, a solid looking gentleman dressed all in black blocked my way. ’Sorry sir, it’s invite only in our VIP section’. I tried the only argument that sprung to mind ‘I work for Drendyl Pex’ I said as confidently as I could. This actually seemed to work. The man barely questioned it at all, stepping aside and allowing me to pass through without identification.
What I found beyond the gates was more extreme and otherworldly than I had foreseen. The guests were similarly clad in outrageous costume, but there was much less casual reverie, and a lot more bizarre ritual in the back rooms. A woman dressed as an S&M fetishist whipped a cut-covered man dressed as Jesus on the cross. A group of Australian convicts with their legs bound in iron chains were similarly whipped by naked porn stars. Beyond the arches of the room, more pornography was being filmed on old style cameras. There were elaborate glass cubes attached to the ceiling, acting as erotic dance stages, where strippers holding multiple machine guns entertained jeering men beneath. My mind focussed in on a particular corner of the room, which was decked out like a gothic castle, sitting on red leather chairs, a group of men dressed as army officers were harassing a young and innocent looking school girl, who didn’t seem a natural fit to the scenes of debauchery around her.
I approached the soldiers cautiously, eaves-dropping on their conversation with the innocent looking girl. At first the conversation seemed typical enough, the soldiers egging the girl on, trying to persuade her into participate in something, perhaps some kind of illicit act. ‘Come on, please.’ They taunted and begged. But then a more sinister undertone came across in the conversation, that the nature of what the men wanted the girl to participate in became all the more menacing. Wether or not the suggested role play was linked to anything I had learned or not, suggestions that the girl be the soldiers ‘sacrifice’ to the god of dark matter, was more than I could take.
I shortly intervened, grabbing the girl by the arm and escorting her out of the strange party. She was annoyed at first, almost struggling, but later she seemed relieved I had given her the means to escape the uncomfortable scenario. Her name was Wendy Soames. I felt astoundingly like an overbearing father figure, but as I probed the girl about what the men had wanted her to do, and she explained that they were trying to get her to film herself being naked and being sacrificed in some sort of mock snuff film, I felt relieved I had acted as I did. I helped the girl to a cab, and solemnly contemplated things.
Back at home that night, I found even more to dwell upon.
I had been re-examining the files given to me by my private client. It was part of an old case I had been working on, the client who had wanted me to look into the murder in St Kilda was the same client who had wanted me to investigate a corrupt police officer by the name of Kenny Lothar. They were paying big money. What I was looking at now, was evidence that suggested a link between Kenny Lothar and Officer Barrington, my police contact, given that Barrington had supplied me with the details about Drendyl Pex, this was all starting to induce my paranoia. Could Barrington be linked to the exact police corruption he was adamantly preaching about? I had also found evidence that Pex was only a small time player in something much bigger, that he was on the payroll of very high income corporate players in Australia and abroad, big American media and gambling personalities, tycoons worth more than the Packers.
I had the most dreadful sense of peripeteia.
Rushing out that night, I had to learn the truth, had to find more information about Drendyl Pex, and his seedy company.
I knew I had to drive out to the construction site in Footscray that night. Which is precisely what I did.
The lines on the highway flew by in ominous and precise beats. A pyramid of tarmac stretched out endlessly before me.
Finally I arrived at Three Vertice construction.
Scaling the fence, I entered the empty yards, resolving to break into any of Pex’s various office spaces and search for some convincing evidence that rumours about Pex were true.
The yards were dark, and shadows played tricks on my mind. In a stark moment I was sure I had seen a masked and cloaked figure swish by in the darkness towards a precarious tower overlooking the tallest hills of the yard.
I broke into the trailer I had been in with Pex previously, rifling through drawers and sacking cupboards, but I found little of interest. Wherever Pex kept his paperwork, it wasn’t here.
Finding nothing, the strange tower on the hill returned to my memory, and possessed or infantile I walked zombie like back down the muddy slopes towards the silhouetted tower against the near full moon.
Quickly and anxiously my hands found the steel rungs of the ladder, and the clinking metal echoed as I climbed.
I tried hard not to look down at the long drop, into the oddly placed vat of wet cement beneath me. Continuing up the rungs of the tower, until I was nearly at the top. Finally I met my destiny, climbing into the dark space at the top of the tower.
I could see nothing in the darkness. Hear nothing, but my heart palpitating in my chest, and my heavy breath rasping wildly.
I felt the pain, before I heard the sound. It all happened so quickly, my thoughts only registered three facts; my fingers covered in blood as I reached at the holes in my chest. The darkness, no face, nothing visible — except the silver ---of a police issued handgun, shining in the darkness.
I was already unconscious by the time my plummeting body hit the wet cement beneath. Sinking into oblivion.
Read more of the exploits of Pharlap Dronefire P.I here; https://www.reddit.com/libraryofshadows/comments/7izl7a/the_melbourne_ritual/

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